


Censured

by Kattwyllie



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie
Summary: Casey & YN meet at a bar while Casey's on her suspension, they don't know each other, or any major details but they bond instantly, will they be more than friends? Will Casey stay in NYC for her?
Relationships: Casey Novak & You, Casey Novak/Reader
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Casey Novak had certainly never imagined herself going out to a place like this, but an old Harvard friend found out she was temporarily back in New York and insisted that she join her and her friends for a night out on the town. Casey had been throwing the girl practically every excuse to dodge her invites to get together for nearly a month now, and she had nothing left when it came to tonight. At least there was a sense of authenticity to the place, a duelling piano bar that she thought definitely had more club vibes to it. It also happened to be the place she met you. Standing at the end of the bar, microphone, I-pad and glass of cider in front of you, currently engrossed in your phone. You were in black high waisted dress shorts, practically backless green bodysuit tucked into them, your hair loose in beach-y waves around your shoulders, topped off with a pair of black ankle boots (that you’d definitely be swapping out for Toms later). Casey felt drawn to you immediately, there was just something that piqued her curiosity, making it more than easy to approach you.

“I was told to bring these to you?” She started, you looked up, closing your phone as you greeted the woman beside you, handful of request forms in her hand, along with a hefty amount of tips.

“Oh wow…” You replied as you thumbed through them, “Yeah…thank you.” You offered her a genuine smile as you called out to the bartender, “Hey Andrew!” He took one glance over to you before smirking, instinctively pouring three cherry vodka bombs, walking them over to you,

“Cheers!” He winked across at you as you nudged the third glass over to her, following your motions of clinking glasses before downing the drink. “You need another one?” He gestured to your half empty cider glass, you shook your head.

“Mmm, no, but get whatever she wants, on me.” You gestured towards Casey.

“Oh, you don’t have—“

“Please…our drinks are on the house.” You cut her off, gesturing to the small pile of money in front of you, “Besides…”

“Double Lagavuilin please.” Andrew pranced off to pour the scotch for her, “Thank you.” She gave you a soft smile as you subtly drank her in, she was absolutely stunning, there was certainly no denying that.

“No worries.” You smiled, extending your hand, “Y/N.”

“Casey.” Hers met yours in a gentle but firm handshake as Andrew returned with the scotch, “Thanks.” She smiled over at him before taking a swig. You took in her appearance as you watched her sip back the scotch with ease, profiling her slightly.

“So tell me Casey…you a lawyer?” She laughed lightly at that, your ability to read her surprising her since she couldn’t really get a read on you.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well the scotch is usually a dead giveaway, plus it’s Friday night but you’re in a pencil skirt…” You smirked, “Not to mention the floor plan said we had a group of Harvard alum in tonight.” 

“Ooh so you technically cheated.”

“You calling me on a technicality counsellor?” You laughed gently, not missing the roll of her eyes, 

“As of right now, I’m only a paralegal. Had my licence suspended.” She took a hearty swig at that.

“Rough. What’d’you do?” Casey nearly laughed at how simply casual and open you were at the heavy topic at hand, a heavy sigh leaving her lips.

“I might have…fibbed about lab reports not being done during a trial.” You could see her face fall slightly at the admission before filling with frustration, “But the bastard…was a cop. He’d abused his power to rape two girls, killing one of them, didn’t get caught for years, he deserved to go away for life, yet he got to walk free.” Your brows furrowed, a look of perplexity taking over your face as she looked over at you. “What?” Her voice was hesitant, wondering if you were judging her for her mistake or agreeing that the man deserved to do time.

“Sorry, but…are you Casey Novak?” She nearly felt her stomach drop at that, had her suspension been that public that a performer knew her story? She hadn’t remembered it being all over the papers.

“Uh..yeah…how did you..”

“Sorry!” You threw your hands up in submission, eyes wide with regret of even bringing up the subject, “I didn’t mean to offend you, I just…Rita Calhoun’s my aunt, not to mention the courthouse kinda leaks like a sieve.” You weren’t wrong there, “To be honest when I heard about it I thought it was complete bullshit, bastard should be behind bars, you didn’t deserve what happened.” She smiled softly at that, 

“Thanks.” 

“I’m serious…” You went to continue before a shriek let out behind the bar, Andrew had a trail of about 18 chits of drinks between his hand and the printer as the room had filled with large groups of people at a time, the servers pestering him over details. He looked over to you a plea of desperation on his face knowing you were more than qualified to help him, you quickly tucked the money and request forms inside your I-pad cover, hand squeezing Casey’s softly, “I’ve gotta go…” She nodded, flashing you a quick smile before you moved behind the bar, moving in an incredible rhythm with Andrew to help him serve up the drinks needed. 

If she didn’t find herself drawn to you before the show started, she definitely did once your voice rung out through the room. You were insanely talented and charismatic, drawing the crowd into the show with ease, laughing with your fellow performers. She ended up finding herself at your side during the couple of breaks that you had, the conversation and friendship bubbling easily. When you absolutely powered through a nearly 15 minute mash up of Beyonce songs, both moving from your piano to stand on it over to the ledge way halfway through the room she was beyond belief that someone like you existed. Casey had hoped to catch you on your last break of the night but it seemed you’d vanished from the club. Andrew had noticed her lingering, mentioning that you sometimes did that on the weekend nights, but you’d be back next Saturday if she wanted to see you again.

***

“Hey…sorry I’m late, what’ve we got?” You felt Carisi take in your appearance, NYPD windbreaker barely hanging from your frame, badge clipped into your shorts.

“Liv put ya under cover again?” He countered, you rolled your eyes, 

“Sonny you know I spend Fridays at the club…”

“Right…” Both of your eyes turned back to the exam room, despite it being completely blocked off from your view, “Jenna Spencer, assaulted at a frat party at Hudson.”

“No surprise there…” You trailed off, Hudson was notorious for sexual assault, and for them attempting to not disclose them to the police, “Thank God she actually ended up in a hospital.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.” The nurse then interrupted your flow, saying that Jenna was finished and ready to talk, but still pretty shaky, “Ya wanna take this one?” Carisi asked, you nodded as he made his way to the nurses station, you moving into the room with Jenna, quietly and gently getting her to retell the horrible stories that happened to her. 

You’d been with Special Victims Unit for more than a few years now, more than happy with being partnered with Sonny, you fit together incredibly well. Your friendship flowed easily, you spent more time together than anyone else on the squad, he’d often end up at your apartment making you dinner when you’d been tempted to order take out for the 500th time. Carisi had once made a crack about how a perp seemed to have a thing for you and you quickly shot back that he definitely wasn’t your type, when he’d questioned you on that you laughed saying you much preferred women. He’d been surprised, but completely accepting, more than quick to jokingly suggest practically every woman you came across, it became part of your obsessing teasing as you (respectfully) checked out girls together. You were incredibly grateful at the partnership, no one else from the squad had any idea, but you knew you could trust Carisi beyond any measure which brought you even closer together.


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks later and Jenna Spencer’s case finally made it into the courthouse, you and Carisi had continued to follow the trial, attending all court days, supporting Jenna through her tribulations. The jury had left for deliberation as you and Sonny moved across the street with the need to be re caffeinated. Carisi picked up his phone while you waited for the coffees, when the barista called out your orders you grabbed them, barely noticing the crowd around you, you handed Sonny’s to him while he was still on the phone, relishing in the sip you took. You thought you were seeing things when a smiling face nearly popped up in front of you, 

“Y/N…hey!”

“Oh my God, Casey!” You felt the smile break upon your lips, your instinct to pull her into a quick hug winning over any awkwardness, “What’re you doing here?” You practically kicked yourself at the statement, she was a paralegal, of course she’d frequent a coffee shop sandwiched between the courthouse and Hogan Place. She was about to answer before Carisi moved back to your side, hand gracing your lower back, 

“Hey, jury’s back, we gotta go.” Her face scrunched, confused and slightly worried about what he meant,

“Y/N…what happened? Are you okay?” Your eyes widened, realizing the situation and what exactly it looked like.

“Oh shit! I met you at the club, right!” Sonny quirked a brow at that, his intensity of wanting you to leave the shop evaporating, “I work for NYPD, this is my partner, Detective Carisi.” Your hand moved to reveal the badge on your hip, “The piano bar’s a fill in thing, helps me escape…live a different life for a couple days.”

“Barely, ya almost always come straight from there to the hospital.” Carisi commented, you were quick to smack him, practically rolling your eyes, he extended his hand to the other woman, “Call me Sonny.”

“You’re a cop?” Casey was in a sense of disbelief, as she shook your partner’s hand. Your performance and interaction at the bar had been so far from detective like that this was certainly a shock for her. You’d been so comfortable, so chill and she couldn’t imagine someone with the talent you had deciding to pursue criminal justice instead of a career showcasing your talents. Though it did make sense as to how quickly you’d called her out as a lawyer, and why you’d apparently vanished that night, you’d caught a case. You laughed lightly, 

“Yeah..no one ever expects it, but someone’s got to do the job, right?” You wished you’d had more time to linger, but Sonny was tugging on the elbow of your blazer, knowing you had to get back to the courthouse. You whipped around with ease, reaching inside his suit coat, retrieving a pen from the inner pocket. In a complete moment of childhood innocence you grabbed Casey’s hand, scribbling your cell phone number into her palm quickly. “Call me sometime, will ya?” With a flash of a dazzling smile, the two of you vanished from the cafe, leaving Casey in wonderment of the whole situation, there was something simply so intriguing about you she needed to know more.

“Wow….” Sonny started as you crossed the street.

“What?” You fired back, cocking a brow.

“Ya weren’t kiddin’ when you said she was stunning.” You shot him a glare over your coffee lid at that, he laughed heartily, “You outta business cards or something?”

“K, now you’ve lost me.”

“You just wanted an excuse to hold her hand…” That warranted a shove from you, 

“Shut it Carisi…” He simply shot you a grin as you ascended the courthouse stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

You let out a gentle hum of satisfaction as you closed your laptop, looking up across your desk to Sonny.

“5’s are sent to Benson. We’re done.” You stretched in your chair, rolling your neck. Sonny let out a sigh of relief, copying your movements.

“Thank God.” He stood, moving to sweep his coat on, “You wanna grab a drink?” You pushed your chair back, pulling on your own coat, 

“I’d love to…but I have plans…” Carisi could see the glint in your eyes as you replied, tossing your bag over your shoulder.

“Girl from the coffee shop called?” He grinned as the two of you made your way into the elevator.

“Yeah.” You sighed happily, leaning against the back wall, happy for the moment of privacy. “Honestly, I think she might be straight, but I could use a friend who’s not currently wrapped up in the world of sex crimes.” That was half the reason you kept the job at the piano bar, it was a little sense of normalcy for you to lose yourself in the entertainment world that you’d spent so much time in before becoming a cop. Sure there were nights you had to pull the badge out, help the bouncers deescalate situations but mainly it was about having fun, getting some drinks in and losing yourself in the music. 

“Currently?” Sonny always the key listener, never missing anything you said. You let out a little laugh, 

“Yeah…turns out she was the A.D.A for special victims before she got suspended. She’s only in town for the summer, working on the Johnson case as a paralegal.”

“She tell you that already?”

“Technically…but I knew her story cause of Rita. When she introduced herself at the bar I simply…pieced things together. But we’ve been texting.”

“Well I hope it works out for ya.” Sonny was quick to give you a tight hug outside the building, “Call me if you need anything.” You assured him you would before making your way to your separate cars, you were eager and slightly nervous at the evening ahead of you. You weren’t sure where things would land, and hoped that at least you’d end up with a positive relationship of some kind with Casey.

***  
You found Casey sitting at the bar of your regular weekday watering hole, which also happened to be where Andrew spent his weeks bartending. He high five’d you before you sat down, yelling something about New York’s Finest, you rolled your eyes as he placed your regular drink in front of you, smirking as handed the two of you a round of shots ‘on the house’.

“Sorry if I’m late.” You turned to Casey after throwing back the shots.

“Oh not at all! I got let off early, figured I’d rather spend the free time in a bar than a stuffy hotel room.”

“You’re staying in a hotel?”

“Yeah, Johnson’s got a thick wallet, put us all up while we work the case. I won’t lie though, I absolutely hate it. I’m stuck in one room 50% of the day, and don’t even get me started on not having a kitchen, I’ve been surviving off take out and street vendor hot dogs for 3 weeks.” You let out a huff of a laugh, knowing exactly how she felt, 

“Well if you ever wanna use my kitchen, you’re more than welcome.” You took a hefty swig of your drink.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean…I barely use it, Carisi loves to poke jokes every time he ends up cooking dinner, claiming there’s cobwebs on my pans.” You rolled your eyes as Casey laughed lightly, “I’m either at the precinct or the bar, I’m barely home these days. I’m in Tribeca, not far from the courthouse.”

“How in the hell do you afford that?” You laughed outwardly at Casey’s response.

“If it’s a good weekend, I can make more in three days at the piano bar than I do with a week of my NYPD salary.” 

“Wow.” She was surprised to say the least. 

The conversation flowed freely between the two of you, there was a brief talk of the job, you admitting that you in fact, did work with her last department, but talk of her suspension was not the office gossip. She delved a little bit further into your life outside the precinct while you delved into her life outside of New York. The two of you melded together so easily Casey was actually surprised. It had been so long since she’d gotten along with someone both this well and this easily. Your experience in the justice system made you able to understand everything she’d come across in work, but your ease with the entertainment industry made you so drastically different from anyone she’d ever experienced. Her natural draw towards you simply increased as the night continued and you simply felt the same, even if this was just friendship, you knew it was going to be a good one. It was nearly 1:00 A.M. as Andrew settled in front of you, asking if the tab was together or separate, you insisted on paying, being the one who’d invited her out. You both briefly stopped outside the entrance as you waited for your cabs, turning to each other and you took the time to be bold, the vibe between you knowing that neither of you was a creep.

“You know…if you ever get sick of being trapped at a hotel…I do have a guest room…” You were slightly hesitant, you’d only known her for a couple of weeks but you knew how annoying it was to survive out of a hotel room for an extended period of time. You also knew that you and Casey fit together so incredibly well, you hadn’t felt a connection like this in a very long time, probably since Sonny had shown up at SVU.

“Really?” She questioned, Casey wasn’t completely surprised, aside from being so naturally drawn to you the first night, practically every word you exchanged encouraged her to find out more about you. There was no denying the chemistry between you.

“Yeah…I mean..if you need a break from the room service and taco truck life.” She laughed at that, knowing how comfortable the two of you naturally felt, and how much she despised her current living situation. She desperately wanted a different room to sleep in than the one she had to work in, and food that wasn’t take out sounded like heaven. 

“Honestly that sounds amazing.” She replied, you smiled, giving her a quick hug before your hand reached towards the door of the cab, 

“Well… you know where to find me..” With another flash of your smile you were gone into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next couple of weeks you and Casey were texting practically non stop, much to the entertainment of Sonny, who’d always shoot a smirk across your desks when you picked up your phone, smiling at the screen. You’d managed to swing a couple of meet ups for coffee despite your busy schedules, and she’d even dropped in at the bar over the weekend to spend your breaks with you forever enthralled with the performance you put on. She’d particularly enjoyed the automatic yelling and impromptu dance party behind the bar involved of you and Andrew when “Get Low” was played on one of your breaks. You were currently wrapping up some paperwork when your phone pinged, you automatically smiled seeing Casey’s name pop up. Sonny watched with a smirk as you read through the message.

“Casey?” You shot a grin over at him, nodding.

“Is it okay if she crashes our night? She’s been living in a hotel, I told her she could use my kitchen if she wanted.”

“Bet that isn’t only what you told her she could use.” You chucked the empty coffee cup at him, hitting him square in the chest as he laughed. “I don’t mind. It’d be nice ta get to know you future wife.”

“Carisi! And…you’re right…I may have offered up the guest room.” He gave you a pointed look at that comment, you simply ignored him, closing the file in front of you, grabbing the one from his desk as you moved into Olivia’s office. “Files on the Coulter case.” 

“Thanks. Tell Carisi you two can get out of here, I know you guys usually do dinner on Tuesdays.” You smiled a thanks in return, moving to relay the news to Carisi as you replied to Casey’s text, saying that Carisi was cooking tonight but she was more than welcome to join. You rattled out your address and apartment number and told her you were on your way home now and to come anytime.

**

A chill playlist of songs softly rang through your apartment while Sonny began his work in your kitchen, he’d ridden himself of his vest and tie, rolling his sleeves up. You’d opted to change completely, comfortable in a pair of workout shorts and a loose tank while you sat on the kitchen island to keep Carisi company while he cooked. He’d handed you a glass of rose as you hopped up, knowing that you were a bit nervous, sure you’d spent a lot of time with Casey but she’d never been in your home. You were also worried about Carisi making some smart remark, outing you and freaking Casey out about the whole thing. You were serious when you told him that you were happy to just have a new friend, but if it led to more than that, you certainly weren’t going to walk away from that.

There was a soft knock on the door and before you even had a chance to hop down Carisi gave your knee a squeeze, throwing the door open.

“Hey!” Always the over enthusiastic one he was, you smiled from the counter,

“You remember my partner?” Casey smiled, accepting the casual hand shake.

“Yeah, Sonny, right?” He beamed at that, “Nice to actually meet you. Casey.”

“Come on in!” Carisi was quick to welcome her into your home, you gave a soft chuckle from your spot on the counter, and you certainly didn’t miss what looked like an overnight bag that she dropped onto the chair you kept by the entrance. She moved another bag to the counter,

“I didn’t know what was on the menu so I’ve got a cab, a pinot grigio and a blush.” She gave a more quiet ‘Hi’ to you as she greeted you, wrapping you in a tight hug before moving to lean on the counter beside you.

“Ever so prepared. Thank you.” You replied, peeking into the bag at the labels, passing two to Sonny so he could put them in the fridge.

“We’ve got a bottle’a rose open if ya like?” He held up the bottle you’d already opened, eyes on Casey.

“I’d love one.” Carisi poured and passed her a glass before promptly turning back to the stove where he was simmering his homemade pasta sauce. “How was the day?”

“Ugh.” You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your own wine, “DV case involving a retired football player, girlfriend didn’t wanna press charges, now they’re engaged but he’s still going to jail for reckless endangerment charges and she’s pissed Benson split up her family, they’ve got a kid together.”

“Rough.” 

“Yeah…but his lawyer’s Rita…and that’s always fun to watch go down. I honestly thought she’d win, our ADA’s fucking useless.” She laughed at the smirk on your face, bringing up your Aunt, not missing the _‘you’ve got that right’_ comment from your partner referring to the ADA.

“Doll, taste this will ya?” Sonny interrupted from beside the two of you, the wooden spoon of sauce extended to you as he moved closer, a careful hand cupped underneath to catch any drops as he brought it to your mouth.

“Mmm!! Fucking delicious.” 

“You don’t think it needs more garlic?”

“Babe you know I think everything needs more garlic.” He laughed at your comment, promptly adding more to the pot. 

The three of you fell into an easy flow of conversation. Sonny was eager to know more about Casey and she was happy to oblige, wanting to know more about the man you spent 90% of your time with. Carisi was respectful enough to not bring up the whole suspension situation, nearly avoiding her career path entirely as you chatted. She was more than quick to compliment his cooking (which of course was his Nonna’s recipe) and you were more than quick to shoo Sonny away from the dishes, the deal was always he cooked and your cleaned. Thankfully you at least had a dishwasher and were quick to refill everyone’s drinks before the three of you plopped down on the couch to agree on a Netflix show to binge. The atmosphere in the apartment was one of complete ease and comfort, one that both Casey and Sonny constantly felt with you. You had something that was so alluring about you that made everyone feel completely at ease with you no matter how they met you (Benson said it was something of a super power with victims), you knew when to be gentle, when to be brash and exactly how to welcome new people into your life. 

You were strewn across the couch, head on a pillow in Sonny’s lap while your legs eventually ended up across Casey’s while your TV marathon continued. Casey noticed the way Carisi’s hand instinctively rested against your head, softly playing with your hair while the three of you laughed and quipped at the show in front of you, constantly getting distracted by each other’s conversations. You didn’t miss the way that her hands came to lay against your bare calves, absentmindedly trailing patterns across them as you were entranced in the show. Sonny’s phone pinged loudly, interrupting the vibe of the evening, he answered quickly.

“Carisi?” A quick pause, a little sigh, “Yeah, I’ll be right there.” You instinctively sat up, both reaching for your own phone and so Sonny could get up.

“Work?” You questioned, 

“Nah,” He shook his head at you, “Just Bella, she’s freaking out again…surprise.” He nearly rolled his eyes, glancing over at Casey he quickly added, “My baby sister, she can be such a drama queen.” He quickly leaned down to give your forehead a quick but sloppy kiss that you practically grimaced at. “I’ll see ya Monday.” He then turned to Casey, “Take home as many leftovers as you want, Y/N said you were stuck in a hotel.”

“Thanks Sonny.” She offered back as the man practically barrelled out of your apartment. You huffed, falling back against the couch, not before taking a generous swig of your wine. The two of you sat in the comfortable silence before Casey spoke again, “So…you and Sonny?” She raised a brow that you replied to with a confused look on your face for a moment before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my god NOOOO!” You sat up at that, howling laughter still escaping your lips, “Really?!?”

“I mean…you seem pretty close.”

“He’s my partner Casey, has been for nearly 3 years. Trust me…that’s it, we just spend a lot of time together. We legit do dinner every week. Besides…I know for a fact he’s got a thing for Rollins.” 

“I’m just sayin’…you guys meld together pretty well.” You let out a small laugh, 

“I know…it’s the only reason Benson hasn’t split us up, we work well together, she says the dynamic is practically magical.” Your attention was nearly fully back on the TV now, Casey hummed in response, taking another drink of her wine. There certainly was something magical about being around you, she couldn’t quite put her finger on it yet, but she was happy to be able to spend more time figuring it out. 

A few hours later you let out a large yawn, and were met with satisfaction when she admitted to not only not having to work tomorrow but knowing you’d all be drinking so the bag was, in fact, an overnight bag. You lead her to the guest room, mentioning that if she wanted to shower she’d have to use your en suite the next day before saying a warm good night and making your way into your room.

**

Casey awoke in the morning to the quiet sounds of your apartment, after stretching out her body she padded out to the kitchen. She’d noticed your bedroom door was open and wasn’t surprised to find the note sitting on the kitchen island. 

_‘Caught a case. Make yourself at home, coffee automatically brews at 8, help yourself to any of the food. Don’t forget to lock up when you leave. Keep the keys, if you want to use the kitchen again I know how annoying it can be to try and work our schedules out. (I already let the doorman know.)’_ It was signed with a simple scribbled heart, a key ring sitting beside your words, she smiled at the gesture, knowing she’d clearly been in the right place at the right time to meet you.


	5. Chapter 5

You’d been more than happy the next day coming home noticing the keys weren’t simply slid under the door after Casey locked them, not to mention there was a new small bottle of face wash on your basin. It became pretty regular for either you or Casey to come home to find the other already in the apartment. You moved around each other with grace and ease, your irregular work schedules something so similar that it didn’t really matter if one of you ended up having to vanish in the middle of a movie or middle of the night. She was more than thankful for both the company and the regularity of an actual house vs a hotel room. Carisi continued to come over for the Tuesday night dinners, which she certainly didn’t complain about, she loved the company of another new friend, and the food he’d make was always delicious. It helped that all three of you technically worked in the same industry, and the conversation was able to flow easily as you talked about your days. Sonny never wanted to press Casey about her law degree but when he mentioned studying for the bar she was quick to jump up and say she’d be more than willing to help him study for it, knowing how intense it can be, especially since he was already working full time hours.

It had been a couple of weeks, you were sprawled against the couch, bottle of wine open beside your second glass on the coffee table when Casey’s keys clinked in the door. Your arm gave a flail of a wave to greet her, grunting a greeting out as she took in the take out on the island, presumably left for her.

“Rough day?” She asked, a hint of a smile on her face, knowing it was. She plated herself some takeout, grabbing a spare glass from the cabinet before she moved over to the couch. You sat up to let her eat, rolling your eyes,

“Fucking horrible.” You grabbed your own glass, taking a hefty swig, “Rape victim didn’t know who her was attacker was, we managed to track him down to a retired cop….Sonny ended up with a gun to his head…Thought he was dead for sure…” Her smile broke at that, putting the plate down on the coffee table, reaching out to you.

“You okay?” You accepted the arm around you, leaning into the embrace, “Yeah. It’s scary shit but I guess you kinda just have to…deal with it when you’re a cop. I’m just glad he’s okay…and I’m mad I wasn’t there, Benson went with him but.. I’m supposed to have his back…”

“Hey..”Her soft voice calmed you, feeling the movement of her lips on your hair, “You can’t control everything. If Liv wanted to make the call with him that’s her choice, if anything had happened it would never be your fault.” You hummed in response, knowing she was right, and that Carisi was home safe spending time with his family. You let your head drop back down, this time into Casey’s lap as you both turned your attention to the TV. After a quick comfortable silence she asked, “What’re we watching?”

“The L Word…” You mumbled, “Sorry, it’s super gay.” She let out a laugh at that, “It’s a comfort show, I’ve probably seen it 15 times already, if you wanna change it I will.” You felt a sense of calming as her hand briefly played with your loose hair.

“No, it’s okay.” Casey was cautious, pulling her plate to her mouth, making sure she didn’t spill any pad Thai on you as she ate, her semi free hand finding the time to give you a reassuring rub after the day you’d had. She soon set her plate on the coffee table, hand finding solstice in your hair, you both regularly cuddled and comforted each other, you were simply that comfortable with each other, there was no issue. 

As a particularly dirty lesbian sex scene played out in front of you, you could practically feel yourself clench around nothing, hoping Casey couldn’t sense your arousal, though you did notice her shifting a couple of times, apologizing as you had to move your head still placed in her lap. When the sex scene finally finished she simply stated.

“Wow…that was fucking hot.” You laughed rolling your head up to face her, 

“You kidding me…of course it was, being with a woman is so much fucking better.” You laughed gently, “I mean…who the fuck wants to put a dick in their mouth? No thank you. But going down on a woman…now that is fucking amazing.” Casey nearly flushed as she realized just how close your mouth was to her most intimate parts, and how badly she suddenly wished your lips were on them. You sighed as the episode ended, pushing yourself up to sitting, shifting closer to her to poke the wine bottle, realizing it was empty. You had another one in the fridge, simply turning to Casey, “You’d like another glass?” Her eyes met yours filled with curiosity and heat, her voice sultry and barely above a whisper, 

“I’d…really like to kiss you right now…” You did your best to not to widen your eyes in shock, your bodies still close together.

“Are…are you sure?” You managed out as Casey reached out, stroking the side of your cheek with her palm, your breath hitching in your throat.

“Yes…” She barely breathed, making the move to close the distance between the two of you. The kiss was gentle, soft as your lips moved against each other in perfect harmony, you dared yourself to run your tongue across her lower lip, begging for entrance to her mouth. She practically whimpered as your tongues began to move against each other, dancing in perfect rhythm. You were surprised when her body gently pushed yours against the couch, a hand burying into your hair as yours wrapped around her body. You both moved with such ease against each other, hands roaming each other’s bodies only in a respectful manner as you made out like horny teenagers. Her lips were like fucking heaven and you couldn’t believe it was actually happening. Casey was more than happy at the movement of your lips against each other, she’d always been curious and she knew that you were the one to break that curiosity. You felt like fucking fire beneath her, vehemently accepting her against your body, her hands had barely started underneath the hem of your tank top when you jolted sharply, your phone blaring through the room, successfully ruining the moment. You let out a loud groan of anger as she removed herself from your lips, a

“Whitlow?” You spoke into your phone, Casey still peppering kisses down your jawline, as you attempted to pay attention to the conversation, “Fuck, Carisi, really?” There was another pause as you huffed angrily, sitting up, Casey still straddling your lap, “I’ll be there in 20.” You hung up the phone with a groan, stroking the side of her face gently, “I’ve got to go…”

“I figured.” God, that fucking voice just make you weak. She gave you a soft kiss before climbing off you, letting to head off to work. You prayed this wouldn’t take long (you knew that wouldn’t happen) or that at least Casey would still feel the same when the two of you woke up. You knew you’d been a couple of glasses of wine in but neither of you were drunk, and damn all you wanted was to feel her lips against yours again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT

It ended up taking Sonny you and literally the entire night to work the case, nearing 11:00 am by the time the perp lawyered up. His lawyer was spending most of the day doing arraignments so it would be a while before you’d be able to talk to him again. Benson realized she probably should’ve called a different pair in after the events the previous day, but knew you were a better match for the vic than Rollins. Taking in your haggard appearances, she sent the two of you off to the bunk room to get some rest before the lawyer showed up.

In a synchronized motion the two of you ditched your blazers, and other uncomfortable items of clothing onto the cot by the door, moving deeper into the room in silence. Dropping down onto separate cots with matching heaving sighs. Your mind finally free to rest you couldn’t help but find it drifting back to the previous night, the way your lips moved against Casey’s with such ease and grace, the spark moving into a flame within you. Despite the level of exhaustion creeping through your bones, your brain simply didn’t want to shut off, huffing as you tossed and turned for a few minutes. You heard Carisi’s bunk creak before you felt his presence standing in front of yours, 

“Shove over.” He muttered, you cracked open an eye, peering up at him.

“What?”

“I know you sleep better when there’s someone else with you, now shove over.” You shifted in the bed, your bed nearly hitting the wall as he crawled in, wrapping around you, a near impossible feat with his lanky limbs and the tiny bed. He tucked your head into the crook of his neck, arms pulling you against the warmth of his body. Sonny was right after all, you did sleep WAY better when you got cuddles. As you felt his body finally relax against yours, you realized this was partially also for him, he needed the comfort and stability after nearly getting shot the day before. After a moment you quietly murmured into the room,

“…She kissed me…” Carisi cracked an eye open at that, smirking down at you,

“Told ya…future wife.” You rolled your eyes, not having enough space to smack him before snuggling back into his embrace.

Part of you felt like you’d been asleep for hours, part of you felt like you’d merely blinked (in reality it had been almost four hours). You and Carisi were jolted awake by the bed shaking and a very disappointed: 

“Ahem….” Coming from Benson as she stood over the two of you, when your brains came out of their fog you attempted to scramble apart, Carisi nearly falling off the tiny bed in the process. “Perp’s in interrogation two..” Her brow was cocked, lips in a thin line understandably so, Carisi was so flushed he could barely look at her as you both quickly moved out of the room.

***  
All in all it took another four hours of grilling, questioning, arguing with Greylek and making deals before the perp was shuttled off to the tombs to await arraignment. It took another hour of finishing paper work before Olivia finally shooed the two of you off for the night (she originally was going to let you finish it the following day but after the bunk room shenanigans she wasn’t as forgiving). You made sure to give Sonny an extra tight hug as you left the precinct, telling him to call you if he needed anything. He assured you he was fine and besides, you had a girl to go catch.

The apartment was quiet when you got home, but Casey’s door was slightly ajar and her light was still on. You traipsed down the hall to your own room, not bothering to shut the door or turn on a light as you dropped down onto your bed, legs hanging off the edge, arms thrown up above your head on the mattress. You weren’t surprised when you heard Casey’s feet on the hardwood, she stopped at the edge of your bed, 

“You manage to get any sleep?” You mirrored her smile as you tugged her down to sitting.

“Yeah…took a nap with Carisi.

“ _With_ Carisi?” You nodded, “Hard to imagine he can even fit in one of those cots alone, much less with another person.” You laughed, 

“Lots of cuddles. I don’t think Benson was too pleased when she came to wake us up.” Casey nearly snorted at that, she could imagine that Olivia _definitely_ thought something was going on there, and definitely wouldn’t be pleased. “I was distracted, Sonny knows I sleep better with snuggles.”

“Distracted? Bad case?” You rolled your head over to gain her eyes again,

“No…couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss…” She grinned at you, leaning closer to your body

“You want a replay of it?”

“You know I do…” 

Her lips met yours with a gentle ease, hand that wasn’t supporting her body cupping your cheek. You tugged her to you, shoving yourself up so you were both fully on the bed as your hand curled into her hair. The kiss had more fire behind it that the previous night, the hesitancy from Casey evaporated, her tongue delving into your mouth, exploring with ease. Her hands were quick to move against the hem of your shirt, delicately starting to push it up, you broke free from her lips, trailing kisses down her neck, nipping softly at her pulse point, eliciting a soft whisper of a moan from her lips. One of your hands found her hip, tracing the exposed skin from her pyjama shirt riding up, sneaking its way under the fabric, thumb stroking across her ribs. The other moved up to her face, gently pulling it from where she’d buried into your neck to softly look her right in the eyes, 

“You sure about this?” Your voice was light, but Casey could feel the lust dripping from it, she nodded, “Case, I need to hear you…”

“Yes…” She placed a feverish kiss against your lips before pulling back, you took in her blown pupils, kiss swollen lips, “But I’ve never…with a woman before.” You smiled, kissing the tip of her nose,

“It’s okay, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to understand? And we can stop at ANY time, if something’s making you uncomfortable, just please, say so, and we stop.”

“You sound like a sex crimes cop.” You scoffed at that,

“I don’t wanna have to arrest myself tomorrow…I also don’t want things to be weird…” Both were valid reasons, you loved the brief time you’d had Casey in your life and you didn’t want her to disappear early because she felt awkward at the whole situation. 

“They weren’t weird after the kiss..” She fought back with, you playfully rolled your eyes, pulling her back to your mouth. Casey lips met yours with a carnal need, biting at your lower lip as she tugged your shirt up, only breaking apart long enough to toss it to the floor, hands and lips moving to explore the revealed skin. Her fingers delicately groped at your lace covered chest, lips smirking against your neck as you gasped, Straddling you, she was quick to tear off her pyjama shirt, bare beneath it, you took the time advantage to flip her over, nibbling your way across her collarbone as you cautiously brought a hand up, groping her chest. 

When she gasped out your name you knew you were in the clear, tracing her nipple with your thumb, pulling it to a pinch gently between your fingers. Your lips moved swiftly across her flushed skin, her back arched off the bed when your tongue darted out, swirling around the other nipple. You let your hand trail down her body, feather light touches driving her absolutely wild while your mouth slowly continued its torturous assault on her peaking chest. Teasingly you played with the waist band of her shorts, fingers barely darting underneath it, Casey let out a moan as you let out a cool puff of air against her nipple, hips rutting off the bed begging for any kind of friction. You chuckled lightly at that, moving over to the other nipple while your hand slipped into her shorts. You continued to move slowly, partially to tease the fuck out of her, partially to give her time to stop you if needed, fingers daintily tracing patterns up and down her inner thighs. She practically whimpered by the time you cupped her, groaning around her breast at the wetness seeping out of her. The tips of your fingers traced through her entrance, gathering her juices before rolling slow circles on her clit,

“Fuck baby…” The moan left Casey’s lips breathlessly, her hand buried in the roots of your hair. You pulled lightly on her chest with your teeth, letting it go with a pop before sucking it back into your mouth again as a soft finger slipped into her heat. She gasped, feeling the digit slowly pumped inside of her, twirling against her constricting walls with so much expertise. The air in the room was frenzied, Casey’s skin was on fucking fire, already glistening in a sheen of light sweat at the fact that you could make her feel this good with one fucking finger. 

Her hips shot up as you pumped a second one in, curling as they hit the spongey spot perfectly, you caught her gasps with your lips, slipping your tongue into hers, tasting the minty-ness of her toothpaste. Casey’s arms wrapped tightly around you, wanting to be able to really feel you against her heated skin. You continued to thrust your fingers in and out, hitting her g-spot at random intervals, when you felt her body nearly tremor beneath you, your thumb returned to her clit, pressing down harder as you rolled it in time with your fingers. Her head flew back into the pillows, breathy sobs breaking from her lips, you took the time to bite into the soft skin of her neck, increasing the pace and pressure against her sensitive spots. Her hips started to rut against your hand in a spastic rhythm, she could feel the fire building in her gut, the spring about to burst when you turned your head murmuring into her ear.

“Come for me Casey….” She fucking lost it at that, shuddering against your body, wanton moan of your name yelped through the room, wetness oozing out of her lower lips against your hand. You slowed and softened your ministrations, kissing lightly up her neck and jawline as her heaving chest slowly calmed. Casey turned her head back to you, catching you in a breathless kiss, 

“You weren’t kidding.” You laughed at that, moving to sit up, pulling your hand from her shorts, you kept her eye contact while you licked the digits clean.

“That’s less than half of it baby.” You smirked at her, starting to tug down her shorts as you leant down for another kiss.

“Why’re’you still wearing so many clothes.” She muttered against your lips, you chuckled, sitting back up to dispose of your bra and pants, leaving you in your soaking underwear as you stripped her nude. She seemed satisfied with that as you began a tantalizing kiss trail up the inside of her legs, naturally avoiding where she wanted your mouth the most. “Fuckin’ tease.” 

You giggled lightly into her thigh, biting down a little harder than her neck, taking a quick glance up, drinking in her body before you and just how fucking gorgeous she was. Then you began your attack, licking a broad strip up her centre, sucking her clit into your lips for the briefest of seconds. You weren’t as slow this time, knowing she was still sensitive and probably wouldn’t be able to last very long. Moving back to her lower lips you sucked them, tongue probing into her, pulling her juices into your mouth. Fuck did she ever taste like fucking honey, you couldn’t get enough of it, Casey Novak would be the death of you, you knew that. Her breath started coming out in whimpers and whisper moans of your name and various cusses, you licked her heavily, moving your mouth up to her clit. Lips wrapping around it you played with the nub with your tongue while a finger slowly slipped inside of her again. You could feel her walls pulsating and fluttering around your finger as you rubbed her g-spot, you sucked her clit into your mouth, tugging at the swollen nub, sucking heavily as your tongue flicked against it in a steady heavy pattern, finger curling inside her. Her hips shot off the bed, thighs trembling as a loud whine escaped her mouth as she orgasmed a second time, quicker than you’d thought she would. You very softly licked her through it, careful to avoid her clit, lapping up the wetness with your tongue before you kissed your way up her searing skin, settling beside her. Your hand came to smooth the hair off her face, kissing her lips softly.

“You okay?” She grinned over at you, 

“Fucking spectacular.” You barely had a second to laugh before she’d flipped you onto your back, lips moving against yours with a fire behind them, Casey was more than eager to make you feel as fucking incredible as you’d just made her. Her tongue probed into your mouth with expertise, groaning as she tasted herself on your lips, this woman fucking knew how to kiss, that was for fucking sure. Her hands lingered on your sides, nails oh so lightly scratching as she moved to cup your breasts, thumbs tracing circles around your nipples, hardening them before giving a soft pinch. You gasped into her mouth. A hand wrapped around the back of your neck, tugging against the roots of your hair while the other awakened goosebumps down your bare skin until it hit the hem of your panties. Casey let the elastic snap back against your skin while she sucked your lower lip into her mouth, letting it snap back. Opting to simply push the flimsy fabric to the side, tracing her fingertips through your folds. She couldn’t believe you were this wet from simply a kiss and getting her off, and it made her even more frenzied for you. 

Casey moved from you lips, kissing down your neck, her teeth scraping the sensitive skin, she already knew from previous cuddle sessions your neck was overly sensitive (you’d shrieked when Carisi’s day old stubble hit it during a hug) and she wasn’t about to forget that fact. The whimpers leaving your lips confirmed it as she nipped into your pulse point, sucking against your skin, letting the nails of her pinky finger buried in your hair tickle the other side. Your hips thrust up, begging for some friction from her hand. She smiled against your skin, slowly slipping a finger into your heat, pumping and curling it. The mewl that left your lips was more than enough to encourage her, she bit again at your pulse point, smoothing the reddening skin with her tongue. Casey was quick to add another finger, toying with your sensitive spots, copying your movements as her thumb started to circle your clit. You moaned out her name, hands grasping at her skin, begging for her to be impossibly close to you. You were so fucking tormented by the simple thought of her in your bed, much less how you got her off that you knew you weren’t going to last much longer. You pulled her off your neck, your lips connecting again in deep passion while she increased her pace, fucking you harder as your body began to writhe against her, you gasped for air as your orgasm washed over you, slick drenching her hand and your thighs.

“You sure you haven’t done that before?” You breathlessly whispered against her cheek, she chuckled softly, 

“Only to myself….” You nipped at her lip, she moved to push your panties off your body, your hand grabbing her wrist, 

“Case, you don’t—“

“Oh…I want to…” Casey had been adamant on getting a proper taste of you since the second her tongue had gotten in your mouth. You certainly sparked something within her to bloom that she’d been unknowingly holding back for years, and she wasn’t going to let anything stop her now. When she settled between your legs she took all of you in, in awe of your absolute glistening form. “Fuck baby…” She murmured, kissing your inner thigh but not bothering to hold back before her mouth practically launched into your pussy. You gasped, hips thrusting against her mouth as her tongue moved through you, your hand shooting out to tug at her hair. Casey hummed in gratuitous satisfaction at how fucking sweet you tasted, lapping at your sopping cunt. The vibrations caused you to practically sob out her name, body already beginning to shake against her as she sucked at your clit. Finger tips barely probed inside of you, her other hand reaching up your writhing body to pinch at your nipples and you couldn’t fucking hold it back, cumming hard. Back arching off the bed, a series of whines and breathy moans escaping your lips, Casey smirked in satisfaction as she heard her name leave you over and over again, your hand tugging against her hair. 

“Fuck…” Was about all you could get out while she settled back beside you, fingers gently stroking your face while you came back to Earth. She kissed your cheek softly, pulling you to her as your huffing slowed to a stop, wrapping an arm around your back. You buried yourself into her neck, thankful for her body against yours. She wasn’t surprised when fell into a deep slumber in a matter of minutes, you’d barely slept in the last 48 hours and it had been a stressful couple of days. She kissed your forehead lightly, pulling you tighter against her as she tucked against you, soon falling into her own peaceful sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning you practically pranced into the precinct, plopping an extra coffee & breakfast croissant down on your partner’s desk before dropping down into your chair. Sonny took one look at you and the grin on your face to know just exactly how your night had ended after you’d parted.

“That good hey?” He quietly commented, smirking across at you, you simply grinned back at him over the rim of your Starbucks. “What? I don’t hav’ta hear all the dirty details this time?” You quietly laughed at that, 

“Sonny, I’m just…happy…like legitimately so fucking happy about the way things have worked out.”

“Good. I’m glad Y/N, ya really deserve it.”

“Thank you..” The morning proceeded fairly boring for the two of you, you hadn’t bothered to attend the arraignment of last night’s perp, just waiting for Greylek’s text about the results, pouring over paperwork and working your way through the case. Fin and Amanda had caught a new case, returning with the need for a warrant and a few other pieces of paperwork from the D.A.’s office. It was shortly before lunch hour that Greylek finally returned with them, mentioning she’d need to get copies Calhoun before they could proceed with anything. 

“Mmm, I’ll take them.” You volunteered, Kim turned to you, a steely look on her face that you had to refrain from rolling your eyes at.

“You know I have an assistant for that kind of stuff right, you don’t always need to take them.” You simply plucked the folded pages from her hand, 

“Your assistant won’t know where to find her ’til she’s in court this afternoon, where they’ll be waiting God knows how many hours to serve them. I however, am meeting her for lunch in 15…” Sonny couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, you’d always butted heads with Kim, hell the whole squad had, but the two of you took a particular disliking to each other. (Maybe it had something to do with the fact that your Aunt was a defence attorney, but it was never delved into). You gave a quick nod to Liv, promising to be back within an hour, giving Carisi a quick shoulder squeeze before you grabbed your blazer, heading out into the streets.

**

You met Rita at your usual spot that was about halfway between the 16th and the courthouse, you regularly did lunch at minimum once a month with her if not more. She may have been your Aunt but she’d pretty much raised you through the tougher years of your upbringing, quite literally fighting for your custody (and naturally, winning) when you were 13. That being said she’d never treated you like a literal child, your relationship remained playful (and honestly as you got older, fucking playfully chaotic, but that was just the way you lived). She’d been in her rather late 20’s when she’d taken you in, she wasn’t technically old enough to be your Mom, but she was already established as an attorney by then and was much more suited for it.

“Hey!” You smiled brightly as you slid into the booth across from her, hand instinctively moving into the plate of sweet potato fries she’d already ordered.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” You simply shrugged, glancing over the specials on the menu.

“Easy day.”

“Yeah…”Rita smirked over her glass, “What’s her name?” You stopped, looking over her, brows furrowed.

“What’re you talking about?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t live in my care for 11 years kiddo.” The waitress ended up interrupting your conversation, you were quick to place your orders since you regular dined there. You settled back in your seat, sipping on the iced coffee, relishing in some relief from the summer heat. “You look happy Y/N…”

“I am happy.” You folded your arms on the table, leaning against it, knowing you weren’t about to keep secrets from Rita, fuck you more than loved oversharing details, it made her eyes roll and you laugh hysterically. Not to mention it was pretty damn hard keeping secrets between a detective and a defence attorney.

“So…?” She quirked a brow, waiting for you response. You hummed out a happy sigh, 

“Casey…it’s nothing serious, I mean it started out of friends. I honestly thought she was straight at first but…couple of glasses of rose proved that wrong.” You swigged at your drink, you took in Rita’s gaze on you, rolling your eyes, “Don’t look at me like that! It was consensual, I work for sex crimes, remember?” She half laughed half raised her brows at the mini outburst, “We just kissed first, I got called into work. We fucked last night…sober…” Rita was used to this kind of conversation with you, you’d always been open about things, on both sides of the relationship, it made you completely comfortable when you were younger and that’s all she wanted. The waitress was quick to drop your meals off while you both pondered over how to continue the conversation.

“Do you say it’s nothing serious ‘cause you thought she was straight?”

“Mmm.” You murmured over a bite of food, “No, she’s only here for the summer for work.”

“What does she do?”

“Paralegal on the Johnson case, technically she’s a lawyer but she got censured, license suspended for 3 years.” Rita let out a huff at that, nearly letting her fork come to rest at the side of her plate, you caught her gaze, freezing your movements without realizing the information you’d given her. “What?”

“Are you seriously telling me that you’re fucking Casey Novak?” You outwardly laughed at that, of course she’d figure it out that quickly. “How did you even meet her? I thought she was upstate?”

“She was…” You shrugged, “Then Johnson came to supreme court here and she came with.”

“And what…you met her in the halls of the courtroom and needed to take her then and there?” You snorted at Rita’s comment, 

“I met her at the piano bar! She dropped off requests and we just…clicked…ran into each other at a coffee shop by Hogan a couple days later, met for drinks after that.”

“Did you know who she was? Does she know what you do??” Rita was more concerned about drama coming up and uprooting any type of budding relationship, destroying your emotional state.

“I didn’t at first, but I called her out on being a lawyer at the bar, then I realized who she was. I mentioned you as my Aunt, but it wasn’t ’til the coffee shop she knew I was a cop, it just..slips my mind when I’m in piano mode.”

“I know..I get it.” She smiled across at you, “I didn’t know she swung that way.” You literally rolled your eyes at her, 

“Rita, you didn’t think *I* swung that way ’til you caught me making out with Sarah Winchester.”

“Making out..really? That’s what you call a hand in the pants nowadays?” You both laughed at that, “Why exactly do you think it’s so casual.” Again you shrugged, 

“Casey goes back upstate once the Johnson trial ends, she doesn’t think the DA’s office here will want her back after the suspension.” Rita squeezed your hand reassuringly before your free one shot to your phone as it went off, checking a text. “It’s Melinda, I gotta go…” You shoved another bite of food in your mouth before wrapping your blazer around your shoulders, darting from the booth before practically darting right back, “Fuck!” Rita was quick to backfire, 

“It’s fine, I’ve got it. I’ll send your leftovers to the 16th.” You smirked in response, pulling the paperwork from your inner pocket, 

“DNA warrant and motion to suppress on the Warrington case.” You gave her a quick grin, pinching your tongue between your teeth, you knew how much she hated when you pulled crap like that on cases you weren’t even assigned to.

“This is why we can’t have nice things!!!!” She yelled after you as you jogged your way out of the restaurant to meet Sonny. Hearing the brief, ‘love you’ you called over your shoulder, shaking her head, you certainly never would change.


	8. Chapter 8

Another month of summer had practically flown by since your lunch with Rita, Casey was quick to continue to stay in your apartment, more importantly, in your bed. Some nights you spent the time exploring each others naked burning bodies as Casey discovered what it truly was like to be with another woman (and she was not complaining about a single thing). The other nights one of you nearly at complete exhaustion would collapse against the sheets, forever grateful at the warmth of another body to curl around you as you fell into a deep sleep. Carisi never missed a Tuesday dinner, always bringing a little extra supplies to make sure both of you were satisfied and had enough to get through a couple days without bothering to cook. He relished in seeing you so happy for the first time in years, even if was only temporary, he knew that Casey’s presence (even just over the phone) made such a positive impact on your life. He knew he’d have to watch out for you when she went back upstate, but your face never failed to light up whenever you got a text from her, and he knew that would never end. 

The three of you had enjoyed your usual Tuesday night dinner, now currently sprawled out on the couch, you opting to settle on Casey’s chest, between her legs, your own entangled with Sonny’s when your phone pinged. You pulled it from your pocket, reading the text, Casey both didn’t want to intrude and figured it was work so she hadn’t bothered to move her gaze from the tv.

“Oh my God…” You sat up, fully reading the message, Carisi practically fled into work mode.

“What?” He asked concerned, you didn’t meet either of their gazes.

“Alex is back!” 

“Who’s Alex?” Sonny’s brows furrowed as you furiously typed against your phone, not replying as you waited for your phone to buzz again.

“Velez died in prison, Connors got extradited! She’s out of witness protection!” That certainly made Casey volt up behind you, her chin tucking into your shoulder as she shamelessly read over your shoulder.

“How the fuck do you know Alex Cabot?” She questioned, you turned slightly back to her, confusion on your face,

“How do you know Alex Cabot?”

“I _tried_ the Connors case, she came out of protection to testify against him, but they put her back under just in case after he was sent to prison.” She nudged you when you were silent since you still hadn’t answered her question.

“We were friends! I was at a Gala with Rita…fuck I was barely out of the academy…” You trailed off and Casey recognized the glint in your eye.

“You hooked up…?” Your head shot around to her, completely ignoring the fact that Sonny was literally on the same couch as you, 

“I…”You scrunched your face, “Yeah…sorry..it was only once, but we stayed friends...” Casey let out an inward chuckle, kissing your forehead, 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“You sure?” She could hear the wavering in your voice, tugging your face to hers, lips meeting with ease, the passion not disappearing.

“Always.” Casey murmured against your lips before Carisi loudly cleared his throat, you laughed, turning back to him.

“Should I go?” He questioned, you and Casey laughed at that as you plopped down onto her chest and into her arms, 

“No Sonny, you’re fine.” As he witnessed the oh so brief amount of tension in the room dissipate, Casey’s lips meeting your forehead, he felt bold enough to ask again,

“So..who’s this Alex?”

“An old sex crimes A.D.A” Casey started, “I took over for her after she faked her death and moved into witness protection.” She smirked down at you, “And apparently Y/N here has a thing for A.D.A.’s…might wanna watch out if you make the move to the DA’s office.” 

You howled at that, slapping against Casey’s arm, not missing the smirk from Sonny as you moved into a kicking fight with him. It was abruptly stopped as Sonny hit Casey’s leg instead of yours which resulted in the need of an ice pack on his crotch, the three of you settling back into your move peacefully.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a threesom fam

Over the next week you’d tried to set up a time to see Alex but you caught a pretty big case and ended up swamped with work. She was taking a little bit of time to reacquaint herself with the city and law before jumping back into work and you were more than happy to throw ideas over text to help the current case. You tentatively made plans for that Saturday, but then got called into the bar, so you invited her out there instead, saying she was welcome to bring a few friends and you’d try to set aside a table for them. Alex accepted the invite saying they’d swing by but a little later than originally planned.

The week had been long, you’d barely seen Casey (she was the one stuck working late tonight) and the case you’d been working on was a doozy, you’d relayed this to Andrew when you first got to the bar and he was quick to start pouring you double cherry bombs instead of singles. During your first break you were behind the bar with him when one of the players called out to you for “help” on a song, knowing that you and Andrew had a nice habit of twerking/grinding on the bar once you were tipsy. The two of you hollered as the other player started the beat line for Get Low, halfway through the song you noticed Alex coming in the door, you’d obviously been expecting her, what you hadn’t expected was that she had Olivia fucking Benson and Fin with her, you nearly fell off the bar when Andrew gave you a particularly powerful twerk in your shock.

Olivia didn’t know what she’d expected when Alex had invited her out,(she knew you worked there already) but she certainly didn’t expect one of her most decorated and respected detectives rapping obscenely dirty lyrics while basically leading a twerking contest. You were thankful the song was nearly over, you were in too deep now (and not about to ignore the tips you were making). Hopping down at the end of song you were thankful Andrew had already poured another set of bombs, you quickly downed them, turning to him with a laugh and a embarrassed face.

“What?”

“My fucking boss just walked in…”

“Like your COP boss?!” You nodded and he absolutely howled at that, “Is that why you said oh fuck in the middle of the song?”

“Duh!” He followed you over to the end of the bar where you were quick to hug Alex, “Andrew’ll take care of you guys! I’ve gotta—“ You gestured to the pianos and were INCREDIBLY thankful that it was time for a switch off. By the end of the night you’d managed to redeem yourself the best you could, and hoped that the crew was at least drunk enough to maybe potentially forget about it. (or you’d at least have something on the four of them). Alex ended up crashing in the guest room (you’d managed to fill her in on your summer romance with Casey during your breaks) you both ended up waking up around 10, Casey was gone, called away to an early meeting. 

When she got home she found the two of you on the couch engrossed in a Sex and the City marathon on the TV, an assortment of empty and full Truly cans on the coffee table.

“It’s not even noon, little early for the hard seltzer isn’t it?” You glared over the back of the couch at her, “Hey, I’m not judging.” Grinning, she grabbed one out of the fridge before moving over to you.

“I’m trying to forget last night…” 

“What happened.” Casey gently stroked your cheek, kissing you briefly before giving Alex a quick greeting. 

“Alex didn’t tell me the friends she was bringing were Benson and Fin.”

“So?”

“This is what was going on when we walked in.” Alex replied, handing over her phone, much to your horror as the video started to play.

“Noooooo!” Casey absolutely lost it,

“Liv saw this…in person….”

“I hate you.” 

“Fin was particularly fond of it.” Alex cut in.

“Alexandra Cabot you DELETE that video right now!” They both laughed at that, 

“Wouldn’t help, already sent it to Fin.”

“Fuuuuck. I am literally never going to live this down.” Casey started to make her way towards the hall to go change, calling over her shoulder.

“Hey, maybe now you’ll get some cool undercover ops.” You hucked an empty Truly at her in response.

***  
A couple of hours of Sex and The City and a smattering more Truly’s later and you were leaned back on Casey who was against the arm of the couch. Alex was curled up against the other half of the couch. You’d let out an involuntary shiver and Casey pulled down the blanket from the back of the couch over your bodies. It was only after she could feel you clenching your thighs together for a hint of friction that she realized the shiver had nothing to do with the a/c and everything to do with the wild sex scene playing on the TV.

She smirked lightly, double checking that Alex’s attention was still on the screen before she left a gentle kiss on the side of your neck. Her hand snuck deeper under the blanket, trailing up your thigh, you were still in your thin pyjama shorts, bare underneath. You gave her leg a warning squeeze that she completely ignored once she could feel your dampness oozing out of you. Her fingers gathered a pool of it, lightly pressing onto your clit before rolling it between her thumb and forefinger. 

You shifted your body in her lap, trying to both give her better access and not instinctively thrust your hips up at the contact. Knowing how sensitive you were, she decided to play at least a little fair, sliding back down to your slit, pumping two fingers in easily with how wet you were. You held back a moan, pressing against her body, she pressed a loving kiss on your bare shoulder, almost reassuring you. Casey’s fingers continued to slowly pump into you, her knuckles brushed your g-spot and your breath hitched. You were thankful the TV’s volume was so loud or you’d be sure Alex could hear the noises coming from your drenched pussy. She curled her fingers right against the spongey spot inside you and you couldn’t help but let out a quiet sigh, praying it sounded innocent.

“Did you want two want me to leave?” Alex cocked a brow, looking directly over at the two of you.

“What?” You stuttered out, making her smirk.

“Do you really think I don’t know exactly where Casey’s fingers are right now? I’ve heard you make those noises before.” Fuck…you’d out’ed yourself. It was Casey that spoke next, taking you completely by surprise.

“Leave if you want, but you could always join in.” Alex glanced towards you for the consent right as Casey rolled your clit, Alex’s name leaving your lips in a whimpering moan was all the consent she needed. Casey tossed the blanket off you, moving to pull off your tank as you lifted your hips for Alex to pull off the sleep shorts. The blonde wasted no time before burying herself in your warm cunt, moaning at the taste of the juices Casey had brought seeping out of you. Her tongue worked its way through your folds, lips wrapping around them, teeth oh so gently scratching just where you needed it. Fuck you’d forgotten how good she was at this. Casey had one arm wrapped around you, pinning you to her while the other started to play with your tits, pulling and pinching at your nipples. Alex’s lips wrapped around your clit, sucking against it, flicking it with her tongue as she plunged her long fingers into you, curling expertly against your g-spot. You were so riled up from the show, and then Casey’s teasing fingers she could feel your pussy pulsing around her. Casey’s tongue darted out, licking up the shell of your ear,

“Be a good girl and cum for Alex.” She husked against your skin, biting at your earlobe and you just _fucking lost it_ , body shuddering between the two women. Casey softly kissed down the shimmering skin of your neck muttering you praises, while Alex gently fucked you through your orgasm before pulling you up into a searing kiss. You moaned against Alex’s lips, tasting yourself on her tongue.

“Still taste so fucking sweet.” She murmured against your lips, moving up to her knees, planting a foot on the floor to steady herself. You shifted in front of her, tugging off the shorts she was wearing, and giving her access to Casey who in turn was shucking off her clothes the best she could. You pulled Alex’s hips towards you, nipping at the supple skin of her inner thighs, hearing Casey’s gasp come behind you as Alex’s fingers found their way to tease around her pussy. Alex practically caged you into the back of the couch as she and Casey met in a searing kiss, battling for dominance. Casey bit at the other woman’s bottom lip, pulling a groan from the blonde that hitched into a whine as your tongue delved into her lower lips. Alex’s hips rolled, practically riding at your face as she curled her fingers inside Casey, flicking her clit with her thumb.

The room was a tangle of limbs, breathy groans and moans, wet sounds squelching off the walls, skin hot with lust, sweaty against each other as you each chased your own releases. Alex groaned out your name as your lips sucked at her clit, fingers pumping into her with ease, curling and twisting, scraping gently against her, juices leaking down her thighs, you could feel her free hand tugging into your hair. You moaned at the sensation, resulting in a gasp from the vibrations, hips rutting against your mouth. You could feel Casey trembling behind you, breath coming out in pants and moans of Alex’s name, hips rolling against her hand faster and harder as she felt the coil bursting in her, letting out a sob, head thrown back against the arm of the couch. You flicked Alex’s clit with your tongue, scraping past her g-spot with a curl of your fingers, you hummed against her, she let out a gasp, thighs shaking as she nearly collapsed over you. 

You fell back onto Casey, bodies sticky against each other, her hand found your chin, turning your head to kiss you, groaning at the taste of Alex on your lips. She sucked you tongue into her mouth, you felt Alex’s hands trailing their teasing way across your body, you arched against Casey, moaning against her lips, Alex chuckling at how sensitive your clit still was when her thumb found it. The three of you spent the better part of the early afternoon tangled in each others bodies, there were mini breaks (hydration is key, even if it in the form of spiked seltzers), you weren’t even sure when the basket of toys made it out to the living room. Half the time you weren’t even sure who’s hands were dragging their way across your body, Alex was in the middle of torturing you with a vibrator when your phone went off, without even thinking you answered it.

“Carisi I swear to GOD if you interrupt one of my orgasms again I WILL kill you!” The other two laughed at that, Alex had at least pulled the toy away from you while you answered, turning onto Casey instead. There was a stagnant pause on the line,

“…It’s Rita..we had late lunch plans. And with whatever knowledge I just received, I’ll be waiting downstairs. Get your shit together.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Are you coming?”

“Before I was INTERRUPTED I WAS.”

“Jesus Christ….I meant TO LUNCH you chaotic lesbian.” Rita heard a chuckle from your doorman at that comment.

“Hey…only I’m allowed to call myself that, and yes, just, let me get dressed will you?” You stood from the couch, not noticing Alex had turned her attention back to you, smacking out a spank on your bare ass, “Ow! Alex!” You shot her a glare while she simply laughed. “I’ll be down in 5.” You said to Rita, hanging up the phone. 

You quickly cleaned yourself up the best you could, making sure to brush your teeth after you were dressed, grabbing your bag before re-entering the living room.

“Feel free to keep torturing her.” You said to Alex, giving her a quick kiss, Casey was practically shaking as the blonde used the vibe on her, “God you’re fucking hot like that.” She whined a groan at you, you met her lips with ease, stroking the side of her face.

“I’m just gonna let her finish, I’ve got to get going anyways.” Alex called out to you, you threw up a thumbs up before quickly leaving the apartment.

Rita was waiting for you arms crossed, but a sly smirk you were oh so familiar with. 

“Sorry…” You bashfully apologized, “Last night was a mess, we caught a little hair of the dog and..got distracted.”

“Who’s Alex?” She smirked across at you while you started walking down the street.

“What?” 

“You said ‘ow Alex’ right before you hung the phone up.” Whoops. Wow, thank God it was Rita who called and not someone from the squad.

“Uh…Alex Cabot’s back from witness.” The older woman furrowed her brow, 

“What happened to Casey?” It was your turn to smirk, 

“Nothing…Casey was there too.”

“Oh Jesus Christ Y/N, who has _lesbian orgy threesomes at 2:45 on a Sunday afternoon?!!!”_ She’s said it louder than you’d expected considering you were in the middle of the streets of Tribeca but hey. You definitely hadn’t expected to round the corner directly into Liz Donnelly and Bill Harriman, what fucking timing that was. Casey’s old boss and Alex’s UNCLE?! It was Liz that spoke first, 

“You know Whitlow, that’s a question I’m curious about, who does have lesbian orgy threesomes at 2:45 on a Saturday afternoon?” Jesus fucking christ. You titled your head to Rita, giving her a glare you usually reserved for the most heinous perps. 

“ _The characters on Sex and the City…”_ You turned back to the two, “Your Honours, nice to see you….” You practically dragged Rita away from them before Donnelly called out,

“Detective!” You nearly whined, turning around expectantly, she waved you over to them. “I was on my way to drop this off to the 11th, it’s a stop motion for the Birmingham homicide.” You gave her a wicked grin, taking the warrant sneakily so Rita couldn’t see you placing it in your bag. You weren’t sure why but she seemed to get as much entertainment out of your shenanigan as you did.

“Thanks Liz.” She gave you a smile as you walked back to your Aunt.

“What’d she need?” Rita’s attention was on her phone, 

“Something about the case we cracked this week.” She hmph’d in response turning to keep walking, “Oh! I nearly forgot, I got you a present.”

“If you pull some gay ass sex toy out of your bag I swear to God I will disown you.” You laughed at that comment, pulling out the warrant, blocking the view of her phone with it. She flipped it open, “This is for homicide, where did you even get—“ She looked back to the corner, “Donnelly!!! STOP ENCOURAGING HER!!”

“Have a nice day Counsellor.” She called back, laughing at Calhoun’s frustration.

“Ready for lunch?” You gave her your sweetest smile, she rolled her eyes, “Oh come on, I’ll even pay this time."


	10. Chapter 10

Arriving home you were absolutely furious, it had been one hell of the past three weeks. Your case was torture, and every single time you or Sonny went to Greylek for a warrant she threw out whatever you had as circumstantial, despite it being more than enough for every single thing. The perp managed to get away without even being arraigned with the “don’t skip town” comment while he walked. It wasn’t until you spent an entire day off (without pay) digging through things that you’d put together the dots, and you were fucking pissed.(The fact that Casey was moving back upstate on Sunday didn’t help your mood).

You slammed the door of the apartment rather roughly, causing Casey to jump in her seat at the kitchen island, you muttered an offhand apology as you tossed your bag down, ripping off the blazer, careful to at least toss your gun in its safe before you turned back to Casey.

“You okay?”

“FUCKING GREYLEK!”

“What did she do now?” She put down her pen, closing the laptop to make sure her attention was on you, she knew how much you disdained the A.D.A, this definitely wasn’t the first rant she’d witnessed (from you or Sonny). You let out a frustrated sigh,

“Remember the case we caught like, three weeks ago? The Tandrup case?”

“Four counts of child rape 1, 1 count homicide, 1 count molestation?” You nodded, 

“Fucker walked…literally free to go. We had evidence, we had proof, victims, witnesses lined up, and every single time any of us talked to Greylek she said we didn’t have enough for warrants or an arrest and were headed for a lawsuit the way we were treating the guy.” Casey’s brow furrowed, she’d been over those case files with you, she may be suspended but she didn’t suddenly lose seven years of schooling, you had more than enough.

“Why?”

“That was our question, but whenever we asked Kim about she brushed it off.” You shook your head, “I wish you could’ve seen the screaming match she got into with Sonny. Kid’s a gentle giant most of the time but he’s still Italian, it was worse than any of the fights I’ve had with her, she told him to go back to night school cause he clearly wasn’t going to pass the bar, I honestly though he was gonna hit her for a second.”

“What’d you guys do?”

“Benson sent half the squad home due to fighting, threatened desk duty and suspension to the rest of us and told us to drop it.”

“Okay…so what did you do?”

“I went over the case with Rita, she agreed with us, and everything you said, so I said fuck Greylek and went over her head to Donnelly.”

“Donnelly okay with that?”

“Partially, she was pissed I went over Greylek’s head, but when I told I spent a day digging through Tandrup’s past, and found out that he was Greylek’s high school sweetheart….she gave me the warrants, and warrants for Kim’s phone, computer and more. THIS BITCH really had the AUDACITY to lie straight to our faces to protect someone she dated what, like 15 years ago?! She read through the files and actually thought we weren’t going to find something suspicious, like, yeah she’s useless and a bitch but to actually pull a stunt like this?!”

“You’re _not serious…”_ Casey was literally shocked, “She got fired?”

“Arrested…evading a criminal, obstruction of justice, something else. At least Benson was nice enough to let Sonny make the collar.”

“Good. So if she’s gone...you’re this pissed because?” You rolled you eyes, running your hands over your face, letting out a frustrated groan as you plopped down to lean against the back of the couch.

“Special victims does through A.D.A’s like fucking FIRE, I swear, aside from Greylek we’ve been dealing with another new one every few weeks!! They’re all either brand fucking new and Sonny could do a mile better than them without a license, or they transfer in from some shit unit that doesn’t deal with horrible criminals, or live victims! We had one last week who’d only ever dealt with tax evasion, I swear he was fucking 12! No one can deal with this shit, and it’s so fucking frustrating to have to work with them when they’re not wiling to work with us, they think they outrank us, like the fucking DA’s office is held up on some fucking pedestal and we’re dog shit. I’m so SICK of having to train lil baby ADA’s into how SVU works, how to deal with victims properly, how to use them on the stand and not have them end up freaking out. I just want someone fucking competent for once, and now we hear we’re getting ANOTHER new one over the next couple of weeks while we work with fucking interim idiots in the meantime.” You let out a heavy sigh, then glanced up at Casey, “Shit. Case, I’m sorry. This is probably a soft spot for you.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled, a hint of a smirk twisting on her lips.

“Why are you smiling like that?” You were suddenly suspicious. 

“Because…you’re cute all riled up like that.” She took a swig of her wine, “Besides…right before you got home, I got off the phone with the DA’s office.” She paused, attempting to let you put two and two together, but you were still confused, “They offered me my job back.”

“What? But…your licence?”

“Is official as of next week.” You pushed off the couch, moving to properly standing, you could feel your heart palpitating in your chest. “My suspension ended two weeks ago…”

“Okay…and?”

“Baby…I’m moving to New York.” You felt like you could almost cry, but happy tears this time. Casey and you had been going through the back and fourth struggle over the last few weeks, trying to figure out what to do about your situation. You’d never discussed being exclusive, or being long term thanks to her time in the city being temporary, it was always supposed to be casual. You’d gone over trying to work out long distance and flying back and fourth but with your schedules and careers it was just insanely impossible. You’d spent some teary nights buried in each others arms upset that your time was coming to an end, wishing that the world would send you a sign on what to do.

“You’re lying to me…” Clearly you weren’t using your detective brain right now. She simply smiled at you, pushing a (second) glass of wine you hadn’t noticed towards you. 

“Come drink.” Moving towards the island you took a swig of the liquid before speaking again, your voice quiet, Casey could almost hear the shake in it.

“Is this celebration wine or soften the blow wine?” Her brows furrowed, confused at your statement.

“Soften the blow?”

“Cause you…don’t want to do this..”You gestured between the two of you, “Anymore..” Her hand reached out to rub your arm.

“Trust me…it’s celebration wine.” You smiled at that, grasping her hand in yours, “Maybe with a hint of…bribery wine?” 

“Bribery?”

“I still do need to go back upstate on Sunday, but just to pack up my apartment, and honestly the last thing I want to do is have to deal with New York City real estate again.” There was a glint in her you didn’t miss. You smirked at her, leaning in to kiss her forehead, now holding both of her hands.

“Casey Novak..will you move in with me? _Officially._ ” A grin spread across her cheeks, leaning in to kiss your lips, softly moving against hers.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You nearly giggled, wrapping her into a deep hug, you were both so fucking ecstatic at the way things had worked out. When Casey came to New York for the paralegal work she was honestly worried about running into old friends and coworkers, not sure how anyone would act, instead she’d stumbled into the half-ly opposite life that was yours. She certainly hadn’t imagined she’d stumble so hard she’d discover an entire new side of her self, discover someone she could care about as much as you. She hadn’t felt like this in a long time. 

“Wait…” You pulled away, still keeping in close contact, “We’ll need to disclose..are..you okay with that?” Casey nodded, 

“I don’t exactly want to start breaking rules on my first day back.”

“But..it’ll out you..and…this is still new to you…” She smiled, stroking the side of your cheek, it was so fucking adorably sweet that you were more concerned about her than yourself.

“Are you worried?” She asked.

“Rita calls me a chaotic lesbian on the regular, I think most people have figured it out already.” You both let out a small laugh at that.

“Baby, I’d rather be out and proud to call you my girlfriend with everyone knowing than stay hiding and not be able to be with the woman I love.” The tears in your eyes welled at those words, your lips splitting into a goofy grin.

“I love you too.” You pulled her to you, lips moving against each other with ease and new, admitted sense of love between them, Casey’s arms wrapped around you, tugging you into her body, she kissed the tip of your nose as you departed. “Are you sure about this? I can talk to Benson tomorrow, have everything lined up on my end.”

“Yes baby.”

***

For whatever reason you found yourself nervous when you went into work the next morning, maybe the fact that your professional and private lives were about to be very intermingled was throwing you off a bit. Carisi took in your awkward quietness as a side effect from Casey leaving in a few days (you hadn’t told him yet), making sure you got first dibs at the box of cannoli’s he’d brought in, urging you to take a second one, you rolled your eyes but obliged in the extra treat. Sighing, you picked up the disclosure paperwork out of your bag, tucking it into your blazer pocket when Sonny passed you his 5’s on your most recent case. You knocked on Benson’s door jam, leaning in to her office.

“Got a minute Cap?” She smiled up at you, 

“Yeah, course.” You gently shut the door behind you, passing her the file, “De Moyne case.” 

“Thanks.” She took the folder from you, leafing through it, checking things over before realizing you were still standing in front of her, “Anything else…?” Your breath came out in a huff, 

“I…need to disclose something.” She sighed, taking her glasses off and folding her hands in front of her,

“Go get Carisi..” Your nose scrunched, confused, did partner’s have to be part of this? Carisi already technically knew, but nevertheless you shuffled from the office, grabbing Sonny’s suit jacket sleeve, guiding him into Olivia’s office. He seemed as confused as you, starting to think you were both about to be chewed up for shoddy paperwork or something. Benson looked up at the two of you, leaning back in her chair, noticing your thumb and forefinger still clutching the edge of his suit. “Are you finally going to tell me how long you two have been screwing?” Your instinctual reaction was to burst into a fit of laughter, Sonny simply started turning pink, completely embarrassed for being called out by his Captain, especially on something that wasn’t happening.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?!” You managed out between fits of laughter, 

“You two are attached at the hip, you have weekly dinner dates, I caught you cuddling in the bunk room. You said you wanted to disclose…” Benson replied, still rather unaware of her mistake.

“Wait..disclose?” Carisi looked over at you, now even more confused, then turning back to Olivia, the shock and hint of horror on his face, “Wait! You thought we were…screwing? I—no—that’s not—“ You’d managed to recover enough from your hysterics to right yourself to face Olivia, wiping a tear from your cheek.

“I’m definitely not screwing Sonny! Olivia I’m gay…I’ve been screwing the new A.D.A.”

“We’re lucky enough they’re actually sending us two, who are you talking about, Cabot or Novak?” You felt another round of insanity coming on at that comment, Alex hadn’t mentioned coming back to work the last time you’d talked.

“Aha..ohhhh.” Liv dropped her head into her hands, she was starting to understand why Rita seemed to be constantly rolling her eyes around you.

“Please tell me you’re not sleeping with BOTH of our new A.D.A’s?! I’d really appreciate being able to hold onto one for more than a week!”

“No!” You were quick to defend, “Casey’s my girlfriend, Alex was a…one time dip in the pool kinda thing.” You cringed, hating that you’d just admitted that to your boss. She looked up at you, 

“Is that going to be a problem then? Does Casey know about you and Alex?” Your regular chaotic self took over before you could help yourself, 

“I sure hope so, Casey was there!”

“Jesus!!” Came the yelp from Sonny, “Cap, can I—“ She waved him off before he could even finish the sentence.

“Sorry..” You cringed, pulling the paperwork from your pocket, “It’s all here, Casey’s going straight to Donnelly on her first day back.” Liv looked it over quickly.

“Okay…you know this means that either you or Novak could have to recuse yourself from future cases right?”

“Yes Captain.”

“I’ll wait to file this with 1PP until Casey’s first day,”

“Thank you.” You turned, moving from the office, your hand barely hit the door knob before Olivia spoke again,

“Y/N?” You turned back, Liv had a soft smile on her face, “I’m happy for you, really.”

“Thanks, means a lot.” You paused, “Uhm…maybe can we not mention this whole thing to Alex? I’d hate for her to hate me because I out’ed her to a friend of hers.” Olivia laughed at that, 

“Please, I’ve known for years.”


	11. Chapter 11

It had been a few weeks since Casey had officially re-instated her career at the DA’s office and with SVU, you were absolutely thrilled when she ended up taking Greylek’s case, knowing how much Greylek would hate it. And just how ironic it was that Kim had taken over Casey’s job and spent years spreading nasty rumours about how she’d being disbarred (and worse). The squad was quick to welcome her back (or simply welcome her for the newer ones) you still kept your relationship on the quiet side, not that you had issues but you didn’t need the office and home overlapping too much. Alex was back a week after Casey returned, and the team was ecstatic to have not one, but two very competent A.D.A’s finally working with them. 

You ended up having to take the stand in Greylek’s case since you were the one who’d done all the digging and sneaking around that warranted her arrest, which is exactly why you spent that morning at the courthouse. Normally when you testified you opted for more feminine clothing, wearing a pencil skirt and silky blouse, hair loose around your shoulders and earrings in your ears for once, a pair of heels on your feet rather than the regular boots. Casey was more than impressed with how well you handled her questioning and even more impressed with the way you handled Buchanan’s hostile tactics towards you. 

Over at the precinct, Sonny rapped on Benson’s door frame, waiting for her to look up before he asked his question,

“Whitlow coming in today?”

“Oh…”She shuffled through something on her desk, “She was in court this morning, I asked her to swing by Novak’s office to pick up some warrants when they recessed.” She handed him a file, “Take this to Novak and meet Whitlow there before you do your search.”

“Thanks Cap!”

***

You certainly were over at the DA’s office with the warrants, only thing was you were also certainly _heavily_ distracted by your girlfriend. Casey had barely been able to control herself with the amount of times you’d cock an eyebrow or shoot back a remark to Buchanan as you questioned him, she could see the tension growing with Greylek at every comment. Not to mention that change in appearance (not that she didn’t see you in more risqué outfits at the bar all the time but there was something insanely seductive about a woman in a skirted suit). You’d complained that Olivia had told you to wait there for warrants on a different case when Casey suggested a better way to pass the time. Thankfully you’d only been briefly attached at the lips when the call came in that her assistant was there to drop them off. 

Currently, Casey had you pinned against her desk on your back, rumpling the paper work under you, your skirt rolled up to your waist, breathy gasps coming from your mouth as her lips attacked your drenched pussy. Your hand dug into her hair, doing your best to keep it in a mock ponytail as your hips bucked up against her, gasping out her name. Casey chuckled, the vibrations making you whimper out as she slid two fingers into you, relishing in how fucking much she loved the taste of you. Her lips sucked around your clit as her tongue moved to play with it, fingers pumping and curling in and out of you, you were in a state of complete euphoria, free hand clasping with hers, fingers interlocking. You felt the burning inside your body nearly about to burst, you were so fucking close, both of you so distracted, eyes closed, not realizing you’d forgotten to lock the door.

“Hey, not sorry if I’m interruptin’….” Carisi’s voice rung out through the office, “Oh fuck, I’m definitely interruptin’! Sorry!” He yelped, turning away from the two of you, hand covering his eyes like a child. Casey barely pulled her face away from your core, continuing to finger fuck you.

“Sonny!” You half yelled, doing your best not to moan at Casey’s ministrations while saying your partner’s name, “You’re still here!”

“Okay??”

“Carisi GET OUT!!” Both of you managed to yell out. Your hand flailed before finding a stapler to whip across the room, hitting him in the shin. He promptly scrambled out of the office, very careful to make sure the door was properly shut. He still needed to wait for warrants and honestly was pretty used to your shenanigans by now (though he certainly wasn’t used to walking in on that), pouring himself a cup of coffee from the outer office, settling against the counter, not sure how long he’d be waiting. Less than 5 minutes later, Rita came into the outer room, she gave the detective a brief nod before moving towards the door.

“Counsellor!” He called out, “I really wouldn’t do that if I were you…” She sighed angrily, 

“That chaotic lesbian partner of yours is in there right now isn’t she?” Carisi simply nodded, extending a fresh cup of coffee to the defence attorney. He obviously didn’t get why she did what she did, but she was your Aunt, and you spent a lot of time with her, there was no major reason for bad blood.

“You’re not defending Greylek are you?” He questioned, 

“God no, I just need a word with Novak.” Rita took a sip of the shitty coffee, “I know we have our..issues but Y/N’s really happy having you as a partner, I don’t know if I’ve ever said that…”

“Thanks…” He hadn’t expected the praise, the two of them had had about 2 non work related conversations before. They both nearly jumped when the door to Casey’s office opened. Carisi didn’t know what he expected but it certainly wasn’t you walking out completely cool and collected, clothes, hair and makeup perfected, warrants in your hand.

“Warrants are in Carisi, you ready?” God you even had your detective voice back on, “Hey Rita..” You greeted, _there_ was your normal smirk.

“I expected better from you…” She muttered, you simply laughed, grabbing Sonny by the suit sleeve, leading him to the elevator, you had work to do now. Rita cautiously moved towards Casey’s office despite the open door she still knocked on the frame, “Is it safe to come in?” Casey looked up, a laugh on her face,

“Rita..”The realization washing over her “Sorry…”

“She’s chaotic, it’s fine..”

“I didn’t think I had any cases with you right now.”

“You don’t.” Rita paused, taking a breath, she’d always known that you and Casey would end up being more than casual (or that she’d break your heart…) at the way you talked about her, and now that she was in NYC full time she needed Casey to know. “I wanted to talk to you about Y/N..”

“Is this the part where you threaten to kill me if I hurt her? Because that’s not going to happen.” Casey leant against the front of her desk, arms folded around her body.

“I know…but I need you to promise you’ll keep an eye on her.” The younger woman’s brows furrowed, “I don’t know how much she’s told you, and honestly it’s her story to tell and I don’t want to breach her confidentiality. That being said…she’s dealt with a lot growing up, and a lot of it has to deal with disordered eating, to the point that I actually had parental custody of her when I was only 29.” Casey’s heart clenched, she knew you had the bad habit of choosing wine over dinner some nights but she always thought you’d eaten at the precinct. 

“She never said anything…” Her voice was quiet, she barely felt like it was even her own.

“She never does…If you really love her, please…watch out for her. She’s been in recovery for nearly 15 years now but it’s still hard. It flare’s up when she’s busy, stressed, overly emotional or working an intense case. And considering her job, that’s a lot.”

“What happened?” Casey knew there were tears springing into her eyes, she loved you and wanting nothing but the best for you, yet you’d never brought something like this up. Truthfully she had her own secrets from you still, but something that was important enough that Rita felt the need to come to her, felt pretty fucking big.

“I’m not at liberty to say, I’m sorry. She’ll hopefully tell you when she’s ready.” She sighed, “I bullshitted to Carisi and managed to get him making her dinner once a week, I make sure to meet her twice a month for lunch. The moment she says no, or says she’s eating at work, or grabbing something on the go, I know she’s lying. Keep an eye out for that. You live with her, it should be easier for you tell if she’s throwing up too…” Casey nodded, trying to absorb all this new information without letting Calhoun seeing the tears she wanted to cry, despite the own practically brimming in the attorney’s eyes as the older woman made the move toward the door.

“Rita?” Calhoun didn’t notice the shakiness of Casey’s voice as she turned back to face your girlfriend, “Can you at least tell me how bad it was?” Rita sighed, truthfully not wanting to answer, 

“By the time I got her away from her parents the doctors said she was two days away from being dead.” She could feel the tears filling her eyes, praying they wouldn’t fall in front of Casey, but she truly did love you more than anything.

“Her parents had involvement in this?” Casey felt a burn of rage in her veins that Rita could feel through the room.

“They did, but please…Casey, don’t confront her about this, it will do more harm than good. She’s been doing so well since she met you, she’s had it pretty under control. Just keep an eye on her, and keep doing whatever you’re doing, cause she loves you more than anything else in this world…” With that Rita left the office, leaving Casey in a state of perplexity. 

She wanted to know what exactly what happened in your childhood to result in your upbringing but obviously couldn’t outright ask you without throwing Rita under the bus, and she didn’t want to upset you. Things were slowly starting to make sense in her brain, the scheduled dinners with Sonny, the amount of leftovers he always left, the regular lunches with Rita. Her mind flashed back to when Sonny was nearly shot, you’d been on the couch halfway through a bottle of wine, she’d found the take out on the counter and assumed it was leftovers, but now realizing you hadn’t even touched it. Had Rita sent it over for you with to have you not even touch it?


	12. Chapter 12

The next few weeks passed pretty easily and simple for everyone, multiple cases were wrapped up much quicker than anyone thought they would be, you were nearly happy with the finishing paperwork for once. Then you caught a new case, there had been a number of rapes in the neighbourhood surrounding a new homeless rehabilitation centre that included a large number of sex offenders. After the squad’s first attempts to try and figure out what was going on, Sonny volunteered to go under cover. Because of this it meant no one but Olivia would have contact with him, and even then it was over the phone. It left you a little heartbroken, especially as Benson thew you over to partner with Rollins for the following time, and you _knew_ she practically hated you (she was one of those clearly in the dark thinking you and Sonny had something going on). Two weeks had already passed of his UC job, and you desperately missed your partner.

With one less squad member your case load was already overwhelming, and then Amaro’s wife showed up in a dramatic display, practically tossing his entire desk contents onto the bull pen floor, the two of them exploding into a wild argument and then you were down another detective, leaving Benson with a sergeant and two detectives who didn’t exactly get along to handle. The three of you were absolutely buried in cases, barely leaving the precinct to sleep, and even with two DA’s, things weren’t progressing easily. 

Novak and Cabot found themselves spending more time at the 16th then they would like, using meeting rooms as offices, even finding themselves attempting to catch a few hours of sleep in the bunk room with the squad (when Olivia found you and Casey snuggled up together she wasn’t happy, but understood, making sure that you kept the shenanigans out of the precinct. Not that it mattered, you were too tired to even think about it). Everyone found themselves practically struggling to keep cases straight, remembering which facts went with which ones. On top of everything Benson had you keeping track of Carisi’s undercover case. You were the only one in the bull pen, Fin had pulled an all nighter, passing out on a cot, Rollins was out chasing a lead, Alex had finally been able to go home and Casey was buried in working out arguments back at Hogan Place. Olivia spied you as she left her office, head down, coffee cups littering across your desk, spilling onto Carisi’s empty one.

“Y/N, don’t you have somewhere to be?” You jolted, eyes shooting to your watch, it was already 8:00pm, you were due at the piano bar in half an hour.

“Shit.” You quickly grabbed your things, stuffing the files into your bag, more than thankful you had a locker at the bar, “Thanks Cap!”

“Hey!” Olivia called after you, “Try to stay off the vodka bombs, there’s a pretty high chance I’ll need ya tonight!” Of course, half the squad was already out, you shouted a yes to your boss as you sprinted down the stairs, attempting to make it to the club on time.

***  
As if things couldn’t get any worse, you rushed to greet the other players at 8:45, noticing there was only one there. He mentioned your third was stuck at another show and going to be at least an hour late…great. Out of instinct you took the bomb Andrew handed you, grimacing when you realized it was at least a double. You shrieked after him as you noticed him going for the scotch bottle, lifting your shield just high enough for him to see. You always left your gun in your car if you were on duty but the shield stayed as close to you (but as invisible as possible, usually stuffed in a pocket or behind the bar) to not arise suspicions. He let out a loud groan, he always stated you were way less fun when you were on duty (duh…you were an officer of the law..). You instead asked for 2 sugar free Red Bulls, promptly shotgunning the first one in an attempt to gain the energy needed to entertain the crowd and braced to grace the stage at the beginning of the night. 

The 30 minute opening set you were used to turned into a 45 minute set, and then an hour set, then an hour and 20 minute set by the time your third player decided to leisurely stroll in. You’d just finished your nearly 15 minute Beyonce mash up practical dance routine around the entire room when he decided to make his way up to the pianos. Your partner player directing him over to your side knowing you’d already been working a minimum of 18 hours. You were exhausted, feeling completely shaky and weak, doing your best to keep the show up as you made your way up to the bar. You’d forgotten to grab a water bottle before starting your set, and the bar had stage lights throughout the room, burning into your skin.

You asked Andrew for another sugar free Red Bull, despite the nausea flowing through your body. He handed you one but automatically poured you a bomb too, you honestly thought it couldn’t hurt, your phone hadn’t gone off yet, and it’d been almost 2 hours since you’d had a drink. You sunk the bomb back, cracking open the new can of Red Bull. You looked down to go over the song requests you had to learn and your vision blurred, you thought to yourself that you couldn’t possibly be that drunk, groaning as you very quickly straightened up to take another swig of the energy drink you held. The last thing you felt was going limp, everything was black, you thought you heard a yell and you definitely felt a throbbing pain in your forehead. 

***

Everything was blurry and came in waves, you heard people yelling, you heard the sounds of the bar, you swore you could hear Andrew. You felt something prick against the skin of your arm, the rattle of wheels, the smell of disinfectant, the feel of latex against your skin, but you simply couldn’t open your eyes, they drooped too heavy. You could hear the steady beeping, your brain acknowledged that you were either safe or dead and imagining everything, and finally let you relax. 

You had no idea how long you were out, when you finally came to, you were facing Casey, sitting in a hospital chair, an unhappy look on her face. 

“Hey…”She softly greeted, you could tell there was something hidden behind her words,

“What…” You started before her voice hardened, she was here for tough love.

“Rita’s stuck in court for the rest of the day, she transferred power of attorney to me. I’ve already talked to the nurse and authorized a feeding tube if you don’t comply.” Casey moved to sit on the side of your bed, grabbing something from the tray, “So we can do this the hard way or we can do this the easy way?” She held up the foil cup of apple juice as a moment of truce. You grimaced lightly, pushing yourself up to sitting as you tried to remember anything from the past who knew how many hours. Casey’s hand stroked the side of your face, her eyes softening as she winced at the bruised, bandaged cut on the side of your forehead.

“What happened?” You asked as she held the apple juice up to you, 

“You tell me me…” You avoided her gaze, taking the cup from her, a small sip into your lips before you spoke again. 

“It was a hectic week, you know how crazy it’s been, the bar was down a player, our sets were longer than normal.” Casey sighed, not wanting to have to confront you, 

“Y/N please…your blood sugar was 45 when they admitted you. Andrew said all you had at the club was red bull. Please don’t lie to me…” You gave her silence in response, taking another small sip of the juice. She took a huff of a breath before finally admitting it “I know…” You could barely meet her eyes, your own already brimming with tears as you met her glassy ones. Her voice was incredibly soft when she spoke next, “When was the last time you ate?” 

“I..had a bagel this morning on the stakeout with Rollins..” You rubbed your temple, trying to piece together the last week, hours had been flipped around so much. Casey’s face scrunched with realization,

“Baby…that was two days ago…” She distinctly remembered you complaining about having to sit in a car trapped with Amanda for hours on Thursday at 6am, it was currently Saturday afternoon.

You let out sob, completely embarrassed by the entire situation, not only had you passed out at one of your jobs but your second one was definitely going to hear about it now. Casey pulled you into her chest, reassuring you that it was okay, that you were okay. You felt entirely too humiliated to even face your own girlfriend.

“What was the last actual meal you had?” She murmured gently into your hair, stroking you softly.

“When you brought me the last of Sonny’s leftovers…” Casey’s chest clenched at that, her first instinct was to be angry with you, to force you into eating until Rita’s words echoed through her head, to not confront you over the situation. She instead gently smiled down at you, wiping away at your tears, reminding you how loved you were, cuddling you into her frame. A few moments of silence finally passed before you spoke again, “Rita fucking told you didn’t she?” Casey pulled away, making sure that you were seeing literally eye to eye on this,

“She wanted me to keep an eye on your eating habits, particularly when you dealt with hard cases, that something happened to make her your guardian, she wouldn’t go past that. She loves you so much Y/N, she didn’t want to betray your trust by spreading your secrets.” You sniffed at that, shoving yourself up to sitting up in the hospital bed, pulling your legs up crossed under you as Casey moved fully onto the bed to face you. You voice was fully shaking as you turned back to her,

“You sure you wanna know what happened.” Casey’s hands flew out, one grabbing one of yours, the other reaching for your folded calf, her eyes full of concern, 

“I’m here for whatever you want. If you want to talk, we can talk, if you want me to listen and not say anything I will. If you want me to walk away from the subject right now I will.” God, your heart swelled at that. Casey had been incredible since day one, and you knew that, but to actually fall in love with her and have her love you this unconditionally back seemed completely insane. You took a large shaky breath that seemed to echo around the cold hospital room around you.

“My…my parents wanted me to succeed, they put me in every type of class they could by the time I was four…if I didn’t excel they’d move me to something else. By the time I was 6 they had me in three different types dance classes, plus piano and gymnastics. I did great for the first couple of years and then…” You started to choke on your words, Casey was quick to shuffle around on the bed, sitting behind you so she could fully embrace you, curling you into her chest. “ My Mother was quick to inform me that I needed to be less chunky.” You wiped a set of tears from your face, “And I believed it, I let my parents, my classmates sit there and remind me daily I wasn’t good enough. I tried to focus on working towards acting, to performing, something using my talent, but my Mom always said I was too curvy. She started me on a diet when I was 8.” You sobbed at that, burying yourself into Casey’s arms. She came to the realization that you looked so much younger because you were literally starved as a child… “My parents started counting my calories for me, they locked the kitchen cabinets, I didn’t get an allowance and wasn’t allowed over at friends houses. I was basically living off celery and plain chicken breast, and I thought that was completely normal. I hated myself, I hated my body.”

Casey’s voice shook as she spoke her next words, 

“How old were you?”

“10…” You barely choked out, Casey was enraged, there was no way any of this was okay. “I believed them when they told me I could achieve anything as long as I had the right body. I wanted to be on Broadway so bad, and all those dancers, Mother reminded me on a daily basis how skinny they were and how hard they worked. I constantly compared myself to them and pushed as hard as I could.”

“When did Rita intervene?”

“Two years later..it was just before my 13th birthday. The last time I’d seen her everything seemed fine, I didn’t understand why she was so worried about me. I didn’t even know I was so unhealthy. If Rita hadn’t gotten to me I would’ve been dead …” Casey, who was now fully behind you, legs wrapping around your form, pulled you into her body, softly kissing your head as you admitted to your secrets.

“You okay?” It was the most neutral saying she could think of to say, you took a shuddering breath

“I hated Rita at the time, she sent me to a teen rehab, and honestly I thought I had everything under control. I got into Juilliard, spent a few months working on my degree before I slipped back into it.” You let out a sob, Casey pulled you even closer to her chest, “Everyone was so fucking talented, and I still felt like an unaccomplished whale. I surviving off coffee and cigarettes until Rita found my stash of cocaine and threatened to throw criminal charges at me if I didn’t get help. She set me up with a nutritionist and a personal trainer so I could start seeing things clearly and live healthily. She saved my life…twice…” 

Casey stayed silent, continuing to rub your back, consoling you gently. She couldn’t imagine having to live through that hell, especially at such a young age, she was honestly surprised you came out of it as strong as you did. She hated herself for missing the fact that you were spiralling, wishing she had kept a closer eye on you, knowing how crazy things had gotten. In that moment she realized just how much of a balancing act it was between her and Sonny, and with him undercover, and her workload increasing to the point she’d actually fallen asleep at her desk. You turned your head up to look up at her, the expression in your eyes like you were about to be punished,

“I didn’t do it on purpose…I promise…I just forget to eat sometimes, it’s like…muscle memory when things get hectic. I’m sorry..”

“Baby…” Casey stroked your cheek, leaving a kiss on your forehead, “I know. Everyone’s so overworked right now. You have nothing to be sorry for.” You sniffled, snuggling back up against her. “What happened to your parents?”

“Charged with child endangerment. My Dad flipped on my Mom, struck a deal and walked with a fine, she spent 5 years in prison.” You let out a huff of a laugh, “The irony of that, her only sister ends up being a lawyer while her only kid grows up to be a cop…God she’d hate that.”

“I take it you haven’t contacted them?”

“My Mom tried to come see me while I was in Juilliard, Rita slapped her with a restraining order within an hour.” You pushed to sit up all the way, swiping the roll of Ritz crackers you’d been eyeing. Casey smiled to herself, happy that you were up to eating, but made no comment. “Paed’s nurse drop these off?” You remained sitting in an attempt to not cover your girlfriend with crumbs.

“How’d you know?”

“Case…these are high quality crackers, you don’t find them in hospitals…this isn’t the first time I’ve been in the hospital for something like this.” There it was, your spark was back, still tired and worn out, but back. Casey pulled you into her, kissing you quickly.

“God you’re adorable.”


	13. Chapter 13

The hospital had kept you overnight for observation, you’d smashed your head on the bar on the way down and they wanted to make sure everything there was okay, and that you were actually eating and get your nutrition levels back up to where they should have been. Casey was adamant to stay by your side, but you ushered that you were fine and she could leave (which she ended up having to due to arraignment anyways). Rita had been in communication with your girlfriend, happy to hear that everything was okay, and you were more than happy to see the familiar face of Nurse Ally, who’d been the one to drop off the Ritz crackers. She’d worked your original case back when you were admitted at 12, and tried to always keep in touch, especially if your name popped up on the patient list.

Casey was there when you were discharged, you were deemed in perfect health from the doctors, advising you to take a Tylenol if you had headaches from the wound. Benson had given you the rest of the week off, making sure that you would tell her if you needed more time, or desk duty before returning fully to work (you hadn’t told her the details, but she knew you’d been injured). Casey pushed as much caseload as she could off on her fellow A.D.A.’s, the cases she couldn’t pass off simply came home with her and if anyone needed something, she said they could come to the apartment instead, it wasn’t that far from Hogan Place. 

You were healing pretty quickly, the bruising and goose egg on your forehead nearly completely gone, merely a butterfly bandage as insurance remained. You were eternally grateful for how wonderful Casey had been during all of this, you’d mentioned it to her constantly, thanking her for not judging you on the secrets of your past. She was quick to rebottle that you weren’t the only one who had them, and to not worry about it. It piqued your interest, but you let it settle for a few hours before she opened up to you about her ex fiancee and the issues she’d dealt at his hand. You hated that she felt slightly responsible, and you reminded her that she wasn’t at fault for anything that happened to you. You sent yourself down that spiral, as long as she kept loving you, that was all that you needed.

Three days after you were discharged you and Casey were buried on the couch marathoning your most recent binge, you’d gotten up to grab another drink when there was a knock at the door. You sighed, figuring it was someone who needed Casey for work, your hand pulled the door open and you were hit with a huge surprise.

“SONNY!!!” You launched yourself into his arms, literally koala bear hugging around him, burying your head into his neck, “I fucking missed you.” Your voice came out muffled against his suit, he laughed softly, hugging you tightly in his arms.

“I missed ya too Doll.” He gave a wave to Casey as she greeted him from the couch, kicking the door shut behind him. He wasn’t surprised when you continued to cling to him as he shucked his shoes, moving into the apartment. When he placed you down on the kitchen island was when you finally pulled away.

“Hi…” You grinned, his face immediately fell, taking in the healing cut.

“What happened?” The guilt nearly shot into his chest, he’d been undercover and unable to properly have your back, he’d hate himself if you got hurt on the job.

“Oh…uhmmm…” You hung your head a bit, noticing that Casey had made her way to your side, squeezing your thigh reassuringly, “I may have fainted at the club…my head hit the bar on the way down.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sonny, I’m fine.” You gave him a grin, your hand reaching into his gelled hair, playfully messing it, “I promise!” Carisi risked a glance over to Casey, she gave him a small smile and a nod, confirming your story.

“Good.” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, and a brief hug to Casey, “Sorry I missed so many dinners, I hope this makes up for it.” You’d been so surprised you hadn’t even noticed the bag over his shoulder. He pulled out a couple of bottles of wine, followed by two casserole pans, moving towards the oven to preheat it. With ease he moved around your kitchen, pulling three wine glasses out and pouring each of you one. Casey settled leaning against the counter between your legs, you promptly wrapped yourself around her. 

“You extra hungry after that UC gig or what?” You joked, gesturing to the two lasagnas he’d brought with him, Sonny laughed at that.

“I figured your fridge was pretty empty, thought you could use the extra leftovers.” Conveniently he stepped over to place the white wine in the fridge, surprised at the fact that it was full, and of actual food, not just take out boxes. He looked up at you with a quirked brow.

“Casey made me go grocery shopping…” You smiled, giving her neck a soft kiss. Carisi let out a laugh, 

“Well Novak, I hope you’re a good cook so all this doesn’t go to waste.” Casey turned, giving you a knowing look, you’d discussed opening up to Sonny already, considering you were practically as close to him as you were to her.

“About that…” You cringed slightly,

“What ya want me ta cook up a bunch stuff for ya?” 

“Sonny…” The softness in your voice made him freeze his movements, turning to face you, “In all honestly, I’m actually a pretty good cook…I’ve even taken some gourmet food classes.” His brows furrowed, leaning against the counter behind him, arms crossed.

“Calhoun said the best thing you could make was barely edible spaghetti…” Of course, fucking Rita. You knew she was just watching out for you, you admired her ferocity to make sure that you stayed healthy. Normally you would’ve laughed at his comment, but today you simply took a generous swig of your wine. Casey gave your leg a supportive squeeze. 

“Rita was just looking out for me…” You started, “She was actually my legal guardian, I…I dealt with some pretty rough shit growing up…” You looked up at Sonny, his brows were furrowed, still not understanding, you sighed, happy to feel Casey’s arm wrap around you “Sonny, I had a really, really bad eating disorder from the time I was about 10 until 19. It nearly killed me..twice..” You watched his face soften, those baby blues filling with concern, “It still flare’s up from time to time. I mentioned something to Rita about how good of a cook you were and she knew that was an easy way to make sure I didn’t forget to eat….that’s…why I passed out at the club. No one else but Casey knows, but I figured it was time I tell you…”

You gave Carisi a few moments to process everything, it only took a second for him to drop the dishcloth, two steps taken to wrap his lanky arms around both you and Casey tightly. He buried his head into your hair, squeezing both of you the best he could.

“Sweetheart I’ll cook ya every meal of every day if ya need me to.” His voice was muffled against your skin, Casey gave out a laugh at his comment, he pulled back, looking at her, “You apply to this too ya know.” She gave him a soft smile, squeezing his arm. “I’m so glad you’re okay…” He gave a gentle kiss to the non bruised side of your head, turning to Casey, “Thank you for takin’ care of her.” It was a surprise to her when he kissed her head as well before moving back to the oven.

“I should be thanking you, you’re the one who brought us two lasagnas!” 

“Yeah, well who says I’m not gonna eat a whole one?” His usual smirk was back on his lips as he placed the pans in the oven.

The three of you moved into your usual Tuesday night mood, swaying through conversation with ease. Carisi asked how things had been at the precinct, resulting in both of you groaning, rolling your eyes with just how overworked everyone had been. He apologized profusely, which of course you countered with the fact that he was still working, whereas Amaro had brought his personal life into work and been suspended because of it. You mentioned your torturous partnership with Amanda, and Carisi suggested coming clean to her, most of your work friends already knew (or assumed) that you were with Casey anyways. It wasn’t like you were ashamed of anything you’d told Rollins multiple times there was nothing going on with Sonny, but you figured she’d still be jealous of your friendship. The three of you were a few glasses of wine in when Sonny started plating up food, lost in conversation and laughter sitting around the kitchen island. You almost missed the sound of the key in the door, your head shooting up, not surprised when Rita entered your apartment. It was almost strange to see her so casual, a pair dress pants and casual tee, her hair half loose. 

“Bold of you to use your key.” You smirked, she rolled her eyes, 

“You just never stop, do you?” Closing the door behind her, “I could hear a man’s voice, figured that meant you weren’t having another orgy.” You cackled out a laugh at that. She crossed over to you, pulling you into a deep hug that you returned heavily, before examining your face, “You okay?” You smiled, 

“Yes. I’ve got an excellent support system…” You squeezed her hand, “Including you…thank you.” She could see the ghost of tears forming in your eyes, knowing just how much your relationship had grown over the years. You weren’t mad about her revealing information to Casey, or to hinting off Carisi, you loved your Aunt just as much as you loved them. “Take a seat!” You gestured, pouring a glass of wine for her, 

“Counsellor, you want a piece?” Carisi asked from the stove, gesturing the the food, Rita laughed at that, 

“You can call me Rita…we’re not at work…” Carisi practically blushed, not really knowing what to do with the situation as he plated her the food.

**  
The four of you settled into a relaxed and casual environment over the next few hours, Casey was already used to Rita being around, it took Sonny a little bit more time to relax. But once he remembered just how normal this was, and that Calhoun saved your life more than once, he slipped into a sense of comfortability. You were simply to have your three favourite people in one room, laughing and chatting with each other like it was nothing. Rita was more than quick to share stories from your youth, much to your great embarrassment and the pure glee from the other two people in the apartment. You were pretty quick to fire back with a few memories of her first couple of years as an attorney, which held a couple of embarrassing stories too. A few hours in and Rita made her departure, making sure to give you a tight hug and kiss on the cheek, telling you to call her if you needed anything before she softly thanked the other two for keeping an eye on her favourite person.

Sonny, Casey and you moved over to the couch for your usual Netflix marathon, with Sonny being gone for nearly a month you had more than a few episodes to catch up on. Casey propped herself up against the arm of the couch while you settled in between her legs, curled against her chest while Sonny sprawled across the other end, inevitably entangling with both of your legs. The hand not wrapped around Casey found it’s way to Carisi’s calf, (the couch wasn’t huge and neither of them were exactly short) while Casey’s hands fell to your hair.

A few episodes in and Carisi could see your eyelids start to flutter, quietly chuckling to himself, he nudged you with his foot, 

“Ya gettin’ sleepy doll?”

“No..” You murmured, aiming a kick towards him as Casey kissed the top of your head, “Just need to finish this episode…need to know what happens..” Your eyes were already closed, clearly just trying to continue to hear the show to figure out what was going on. It was less than a minute later when Casey felt your breathing regulate, she glanced across the couch at Carisi,

“She’s out isn’t she?” He smirked in response, taking in your sleeping form, little smile curled across you lips as you were curled against Novak.

“Like a light…”He stood, moving from the couch, “You want me to move her to the bed?” 

“No..” Casey shook her head, thankful for the help, “I’ve got her.”

“You most certainly do.” Sonny still leaned down to kiss the top of your head, giving Casey a shoulder squeeze, “I should get goin’, night Casey.”

“G’night Sonny. Thanks for the food.” He smiled back from the doorway, nodding to her, the reassurance that he would always be there for the two of you, no matter what.


	14. Chapter 14

In the months that followed, you were quickly back to work and quickly back into a rhythm of ease with Carisi. Benson was happy to have the two of you both back at work together, in the time you were gone she’d partnered him with Amanda and that ended up leading to way too much tension in the bull pen. Naturally, Rollins was pissed that when you came back Sonny had ended up back with you, she’d been trying to work her way in there and with the two of you attached at the hip, that certainly wasn’t going to happen. 

Casey had overheard Rollins complaining to Fin about you, and how disrespectful it was to the squad and to Olivia that you and Carisi were dating without disclosing, going hard about how out of line specifically you were. How you’d swept into SVU out of nowhere and stolen her partner, how she didn’t know why Benson liked you so much, you were a shoddy detective anyways (naturally none of that was true). Casey managed to hold back her rage and rather than interrupting made a mental note to talk to Liv about it. A few days later when she came out of interrogation to find Amanda going at it with you and Carisi she figured out a way to put a stop to it, stepping up to the three of you. Amanda stopped her rage the second Casey planted a kiss on you, saying she’d see you at home for dinner, and just like that, the squad all knew, and Rollins finally calmed her bad attitude towards you.

Even with everyone now knowing, the two of you obviously kept things as professional as you could at work (when not behind the locked door of Casey’s office of course). But you still found yourselves gravitating to each other, Casey usually brought you a coffee or a snack when she dropped by the precinct, and always made sure to give your cheek a soft kiss before leaving. Today the squad had been working over a case for what seemed like 18 hours, you and Casey were a bit further back from the group, leant against your desk. You half had your head on her shoulder while her hand played with your hair. The case was a big one, a nasty divorce and custody battle had lead for the husband to arrange a kidnapping of their 5 year old daughter. 

“Man, this is why I wish I’d never gotten married.” Fin commented,

“You’re telling me.” Amaro replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. He and Maria were in the middle of their divorce, and things were not exactly going great for either of them.

“Did you wanna get married?” Casey murmured quietly, 

“Like to you? Or in general?” You replied, eyes still focussed on the group in front of you. Casey let out a little laugh,

“Of course to me you doofus.” You hummed in response, then your brows furrowed, you moved your head off her shoulder to look over at Casey.

“Wait…did you just ask me to marry you?” You saw the realization hit Casey as she thought over her words.

“I…guess I kinda did…” She laughed softly.

“You’ve got a weird sense of romance Novak. Pretty sure you’re supposed to buy me a pretty ring first.” She smiled, 

“I’ll take you shopping Saturday then.” You grinned at that, leaning in to give her a soft kiss.

Fin.

*******  
And you guys get a little, post credit scene we’ll call it, because I really wanted to include something like this but there wasn’t really an appropriate place to fit it since the story turned from chaotic and smutty to cute and fluffy so I’m just throwing this here lolol

*****

You ran into Alex outside the women’s washroom at the courthouse, you were surprised to find it empty inside, but it was a rather slow day.

“Hey! Case and I were just talking about you!”

“Talking? Is that why you look so dishevelled?” She smirked. You rolled your eyes, 

“She’s got this new thing in her head that I take the stand better better post orgasm…” You started smoothing your hair back, you hadn’t realized Casey’d managed to pull most of it out of the neatly tied bun. “Anyways, we just got a couple of new toys and I think you’ll really like one of them.” You gave her a sly grin, fixing the buttons on your shirt.

“Oh really?” Alex was intrigued at that comment, 

“Yeah…you should come over Saturday. Be more organized, actually use the bedroom instead of fucking on the couch.” Alex laughed at that, and just when you moved to quickly kiss her cheek before leaving, you both froze at the sound of a toilet flushing. Praying it was a civilian, your stomach dropped when none other than Liz Donnelly emerged, smirk on her face as she moved up to wash her hands. She turned to look at you,

“I fucking knew it wasn’t Sex and the City…”


End file.
